1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come...
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
41. Yield.
42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Incognito
One of my favorite things about the way I dress is that no one ever suspects me to be anyone.
I love the anonymity that it gives me.
No one thinks the girl in the tee shirt is going to be assisting with their care....but once I put on these scrubs, I'm legit.
When I walk into L&D, the only people who know who I am are the people who work there. I go everywhere in basketball shorts because I'm regular person. I do regular things. I only need to show up for you as a intellectual when we're in that space.
Otherwise, I'm just another girl walking the halls of the hospital.
My mentor taught me a very valuable lesson: You're not that important.
You're a regular person extraordinarily blessed by God, and remembering that you alone aren't that important will lower the stress level in your life.
You don't have to do everything or be everywhere. People don't need you half the places they think they do. You don't have to carry the weight of what people assume you know all the time. You can slip in and out of that based on presentation. <---And I do...all the time!
One the other side of that, everyone does matter. I matter. Being incognito helps me be better. I am not always on so I can work on me or perfect areas wherein I'm relying purely on talent rather than hard work. We've all got work to do as individuals. I can't neglect my own stuff or I won't be effective in the way I'm supposed to be. By stepping away and doing the work, I know that when I'm contributing to a team, that contribution matters.
I love the anonymity that it gives me.
No one thinks the girl in the tee shirt is going to be assisting with their care....but once I put on these scrubs, I'm legit.
When I walk into L&D, the only people who know who I am are the people who work there. I go everywhere in basketball shorts because I'm regular person. I do regular things. I only need to show up for you as a intellectual when we're in that space.
Otherwise, I'm just another girl walking the halls of the hospital.
What I actually wear to school/work.
What people assume a physician scientist wears!
You're a regular person extraordinarily blessed by God, and remembering that you alone aren't that important will lower the stress level in your life.
You don't have to do everything or be everywhere. People don't need you half the places they think they do. You don't have to carry the weight of what people assume you know all the time. You can slip in and out of that based on presentation. <---And I do...all the time!
One the other side of that, everyone does matter. I matter. Being incognito helps me be better. I am not always on so I can work on me or perfect areas wherein I'm relying purely on talent rather than hard work. We've all got work to do as individuals. I can't neglect my own stuff or I won't be effective in the way I'm supposed to be. By stepping away and doing the work, I know that when I'm contributing to a team, that contribution matters.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Family
What makes family?
Love definitely but the decision to commit is a big one for me.
Five years ago, I stood an an altar and committed to support my bestie and her husband in their marriage. I take that commitment very seriously and I am so blessed by their marriage and who they are.
I'm happy to announce that we are adding to the family.
Me and my bestie decided next summer would be a great time to have a baby and that's exactly what's happening! S/O to her hubby who wanted to wait but conceded that he lost the vote 2-1!
I'm so thankful for them in my life: for who they are and who they continue to be.
They let me be who I am (scientist trying to become a physician) while also facilitating my ability to be as involved with LP as I possibly can be. They're so generous to let me co-parent with them. They're just good people.
You want to talk about some solid folks? Those are some solid people. They're great parents to LP and I'm so excited about this next baby as well.
LP will always be my first love but I can't wait to see how my heart expands again with this one.
Look at how God can use the days you weren't sure you were going to see!
Love definitely but the decision to commit is a big one for me.
Five years ago, I stood an an altar and committed to support my bestie and her husband in their marriage. I take that commitment very seriously and I am so blessed by their marriage and who they are.
I'm happy to announce that we are adding to the family.
WE ARE EXPECTING!
Me and my bestie decided next summer would be a great time to have a baby and that's exactly what's happening! S/O to her hubby who wanted to wait but conceded that he lost the vote 2-1!
I'm so thankful for them in my life: for who they are and who they continue to be.
They let me be who I am (scientist trying to become a physician) while also facilitating my ability to be as involved with LP as I possibly can be. They're so generous to let me co-parent with them. They're just good people.
You want to talk about some solid folks? Those are some solid people. They're great parents to LP and I'm so excited about this next baby as well.
LP will always be my first love but I can't wait to see how my heart expands again with this one.
Look at how God can use the days you weren't sure you were going to see!
He stole my heart 4 years ago....I've never been the same!
Thursday, September 24, 2015
I'd like to thank Jesus, my mentors/2nd year, and MY SELF!
Failed my first TWO med school exams.
Got TWO questions wrong on my last one and HONORED that test!
Dirt Don't Hurt
Have you ever considered that God is interested in your dirt?
Let's back up for a second and get into this for real.
Genesis 2:7
Then the Lord God formed man from the [a]dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath or spirit of life, and man became a living being.
God has an affinity for dirt. He completed creation, rested and then made humanity. Lets get into that idea. How did God make man? He left His throne to get down in the dirt to form us. Everything before humanity was spoken into being but He left His perch in glory to create and make us in His image and likeness.
There was something about the dirt that compelled God to come and see about it and be intimate with it. He saw something useful in the dirt. Thus, according to the Word, there is dirt in all of us. God's obsessed with us despite that.
God's interested in the dirt's potential and possibilities. God saw destiny and purpose. It was expendable and unworkable to the rest of creation but God used it to make man. The thing that makes you unloveable makes you useable to God. This is what God draws close to. The dirt in your life is what He can use to crown you with.
God uses dirt to get the glory. That's a word of encouragement....way down by the dirt, by the shade, the looks, and the things you did that you KNEW were wrong when you were doing them, God can still use your worship. Out of your mistake, your misstep, your out of order, your raw deal, your heartbreak, your pain....nothing from your journey will be wasted.
Now let's consider why God used dirt. Trees grow in dirt, flowers grow in it too. Nutrients are found in dirt. Though plants survive in water, they grown in dirt. He has you planted where you are because He wants your to grown. That's why there's dirt around you. That's why you're where you are.
Now consider this....if enough dirt is thrown around and coalesces, it'll become a rock and then a boulder. You add more dirt and eventually you'll have a hill...a little more time and dirt will yield a mountain. So if you stay small long enough...you'll be big enough soon enough. Dirt is required for building. That might be why its around you now.
Don't get made with folk who treated you bad because what they didn't understand that was with the right amount of pressure and head, diamonds form.
Somewhere and somehow God zones in on dirt. He sees potential there He wants to develop. He left Glory for dirt. So what does that mean? He's in the dirt with you. He doesn't leave us in the direct but His spirit sanctifies the dirt that we might get up. From the lowliest thing on the planet, God made man and then gave man dominion over everything. God originated "started from the bottom now we here!" Never forget where you are from or who brought you from that place. What does God then do with the dirt? He breathes on it....the shaping and the molding doesn't make man but the difference is made in the breathing. The breath of God was necessary for us to exist. The change is in the breath, the presence of God on the inside. And even now....we need to allow fresh breath from God to be in us and move us.
God's still not done with dirt though y'all and praise Him He ain't! God had a plan to clean up our dirt. He made Him who was without sin to become sin to become dirty. He made Jesus to know our hopelessness and helplessness, that we might righteous.
Let's back up for a second and get into this for real.
Genesis 2:7
Then the Lord God formed man from the [a]dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath or spirit of life, and man became a living being.
God has an affinity for dirt. He completed creation, rested and then made humanity. Lets get into that idea. How did God make man? He left His throne to get down in the dirt to form us. Everything before humanity was spoken into being but He left His perch in glory to create and make us in His image and likeness.
There was something about the dirt that compelled God to come and see about it and be intimate with it. He saw something useful in the dirt. Thus, according to the Word, there is dirt in all of us. God's obsessed with us despite that.
God's interested in the dirt's potential and possibilities. God saw destiny and purpose. It was expendable and unworkable to the rest of creation but God used it to make man. The thing that makes you unloveable makes you useable to God. This is what God draws close to. The dirt in your life is what He can use to crown you with.
God uses dirt to get the glory. That's a word of encouragement....way down by the dirt, by the shade, the looks, and the things you did that you KNEW were wrong when you were doing them, God can still use your worship. Out of your mistake, your misstep, your out of order, your raw deal, your heartbreak, your pain....nothing from your journey will be wasted.
Now let's consider why God used dirt. Trees grow in dirt, flowers grow in it too. Nutrients are found in dirt. Though plants survive in water, they grown in dirt. He has you planted where you are because He wants your to grown. That's why there's dirt around you. That's why you're where you are.
Now consider this....if enough dirt is thrown around and coalesces, it'll become a rock and then a boulder. You add more dirt and eventually you'll have a hill...a little more time and dirt will yield a mountain. So if you stay small long enough...you'll be big enough soon enough. Dirt is required for building. That might be why its around you now.
Don't get made with folk who treated you bad because what they didn't understand that was with the right amount of pressure and head, diamonds form.
Somewhere and somehow God zones in on dirt. He sees potential there He wants to develop. He left Glory for dirt. So what does that mean? He's in the dirt with you. He doesn't leave us in the direct but His spirit sanctifies the dirt that we might get up. From the lowliest thing on the planet, God made man and then gave man dominion over everything. God originated "started from the bottom now we here!" Never forget where you are from or who brought you from that place. What does God then do with the dirt? He breathes on it....the shaping and the molding doesn't make man but the difference is made in the breathing. The breath of God was necessary for us to exist. The change is in the breath, the presence of God on the inside. And even now....we need to allow fresh breath from God to be in us and move us.
God's still not done with dirt though y'all and praise Him He ain't! God had a plan to clean up our dirt. He made Him who was without sin to become sin to become dirty. He made Jesus to know our hopelessness and helplessness, that we might righteous.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
The Beautiful Game
So....if you haven't figured it out here are some hints.....
You figured it out?
I'm a soccer fan. Though it might seem new to some, I have always liked the sport and being from NC, where the dynasty that is UNC Women's soccer is located, I've known the name Mia Hamm far longer than Messi or Beckham. Also....my foreign lab was always about this World Cup life.
I was out of touch from the sport for a long time but WWC sucked me right back in. See the 99ers made the sport relevant but the 15ers won my heart.
I've got 4 tee shirts and I just ordered my custom goalkeeper jersey. :-)
Anywho.....this post is actually about the fact that people can be the worst.
So that first picture is of the Maryland SoccerPlex, the amazing facility where the Washington Spirit play. I say amazing because it won some award for having the best all grass playing surface in the country. We play that. We pack the plex. Within the first few weeks of school I've invited my class mates to go see the team with me....numerous times. I've also invited them over the watch the national team.
Not a single person wanted to go up to the Plex, which I of course go to regularly, to watch the game. Fine. That's fine.
The Saturday morning, after study group, this guy turns to me and says "We should all go see a DC United game."
NOPE!
Are you KIDDING ME?!?!? I've been inviting y'all to go see the Spirit play for 2 months and now you're saying we should go see the boys play?!?! Absolutely never.
And I told him such. "I'm not spending my money on men's soccer. I invited y'all over and over to go see the Spirit and none of y'all wanted to come. I'm definitely not going to a men's soccer game."
Will you believe he was taken aback? Like.....the way women's soccer has been completely dismissed as a professional sport but I should take your invitation to see men's soccer seriously? Why? Because going to see a men's game is somehow worth my time? GTFOHWTBS
Y'all he was genuinely surprised. This other girl in the room had my back and was like "Why does she have to like men's soccer when y'all clearly didn't want to go see women play?"
Thank you girl! EXACTLY! Then they proceeded to still make fun of women's soccer. Um....but when has your fave ever won a World Cup much less 3?
And the all time leading goal scorer is who?
And who hasn't lost a home game since November 2004?
We haven't lost a game on US Soil in 100 straight matches. #YourFaveCouldNEVER
Olympic Gold: 4 of 5 times its been in the Olympics
I support women's soccer.
Women's.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Water
Just got in from a rainy Monday night.
My classmates threw a party that I showed my face at.
The reality is that all it did was make me miss her.
I want to be the kind of girlfriend that introduces her to all my friends, bring her to the party, grinds with her like we're in our own world, and finishes that off at home.
I miss the way my hand finds home on the small of your back.
Song after song, I was like "if only she was here."
So I cried.
That's what my feel your feelings TWLOHA folks would applaud. I cried hard. Because I do love her and I do miss her.
I just don't miss feeling like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I don't miss feeling inadequate.
So instead, I'll just feel sad tonight.
Mourning don't last always and morning is just a few hours away.
My classmates threw a party that I showed my face at.
The reality is that all it did was make me miss her.
I want to be the kind of girlfriend that introduces her to all my friends, bring her to the party, grinds with her like we're in our own world, and finishes that off at home.
I miss the way my hand finds home on the small of your back.
Song after song, I was like "if only she was here."
So I cried.
That's what my feel your feelings TWLOHA folks would applaud. I cried hard. Because I do love her and I do miss her.
I just don't miss feeling like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I don't miss feeling inadequate.
So instead, I'll just feel sad tonight.
Mourning don't last always and morning is just a few hours away.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Ink
I firmly believe the body is the temple of the Lord. As such, I take a lot of time considering what tattoos I'm going to get on my temple. In some ways, getting tattooed is a sacred experience.
Its permanent.
Its a forever statement about what's important to me.
I've figured out what my next few tattoos will be.
The first I'm getting done by Gene Coffey in NYC. His watercolor is amazing. I'm getting a red kite, the national bird of Wales, which is where my last name comes from. The red kite is a bird of prey and its awfully majestic but I really love that it symbolizes my last name. I'm planning to get two: 1 for me and eventually one for my wife.
For me, I'm getting one positioned like this. I like that its a focused posture and that you can't see the body of the bird.
When I get married, I'm getting one to represent my wife.
I like the idea of having one that's body side open for my wife. I want the one for me to be in more of a closed off position but I know she'll be the one person that opens me up so I want to be represented as such.
I think I'll have her bird coming into mine so in the end you won't see the whole body of my wife bird because the wingspan of the me bird will cover some of her but I definitely want her wingspan and head and tail feathers seen.
I think its going to be dope. I'm thinking this will be a thigh piece on the front of my right leg. Its the leg I use to use on so I think that's good symbolism too.
My other tattoo concepts....you'll just have to wait and see!
Its permanent.
Its a forever statement about what's important to me.
I've figured out what my next few tattoos will be.
The first I'm getting done by Gene Coffey in NYC. His watercolor is amazing. I'm getting a red kite, the national bird of Wales, which is where my last name comes from. The red kite is a bird of prey and its awfully majestic but I really love that it symbolizes my last name. I'm planning to get two: 1 for me and eventually one for my wife.
For me, I'm getting one positioned like this. I like that its a focused posture and that you can't see the body of the bird.
When I get married, I'm getting one to represent my wife.
I like the idea of having one that's body side open for my wife. I want the one for me to be in more of a closed off position but I know she'll be the one person that opens me up so I want to be represented as such.
I think I'll have her bird coming into mine so in the end you won't see the whole body of my wife bird because the wingspan of the me bird will cover some of her but I definitely want her wingspan and head and tail feathers seen.
I think its going to be dope. I'm thinking this will be a thigh piece on the front of my right leg. Its the leg I use to use on so I think that's good symbolism too.
My other tattoo concepts....you'll just have to wait and see!
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Hiking
I love hiking.
Just this morning I was thinking "Where are the nearest mountains to here because I need a fall vacay."
And this afternoon, I found out at Bobby, a gentle giant in my high school class, died in a hiking accident.
He was such a nice guy.
You know that's saying a lot because I haven't talked to him in years but I just remember he was incredibly nice and funny. Just a great person to be around.
My med school class is going hiking next weekend.
I'll be thinking of you Bobby!
Just this morning I was thinking "Where are the nearest mountains to here because I need a fall vacay."
And this afternoon, I found out at Bobby, a gentle giant in my high school class, died in a hiking accident.
He was such a nice guy.
You know that's saying a lot because I haven't talked to him in years but I just remember he was incredibly nice and funny. Just a great person to be around.
My med school class is going hiking next weekend.
I'll be thinking of you Bobby!
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Nights in L&D
Let me tell you what I love about night call....
Everything!
I get to do all types of things. I scrubbed on my first c-section last night and actually got my hands plural in the field. The normal things 3rd years do....I do.
I've gotten to do a pelvic last week as well.
My preceptor is bomb and I can come to night call any day he's on call, even though preceptorship has ended. He's grooming a young scientist because I'm probably his last OB wannabe since he's retiring in 2018. As long as its not too close to a test, my hind parts will be at night call.
Sadly, I missed a phenomenal performance by Ashlyn Harris, my #1 fave USWNT player, because OR. My faves are generally all defensive players, specifically goal keepers. But I'm also really partial to them being good people off the pitch. Thankfully, replays exist and that girl SLAYED!
She was all over the goal! I'm so proud of her individual performance from the semis!
Everything!
I get to do all types of things. I scrubbed on my first c-section last night and actually got my hands plural in the field. The normal things 3rd years do....I do.
I've gotten to do a pelvic last week as well.
My preceptor is bomb and I can come to night call any day he's on call, even though preceptorship has ended. He's grooming a young scientist because I'm probably his last OB wannabe since he's retiring in 2018. As long as its not too close to a test, my hind parts will be at night call.
Sadly, I missed a phenomenal performance by Ashlyn Harris, my #1 fave USWNT player, because OR. My faves are generally all defensive players, specifically goal keepers. But I'm also really partial to them being good people off the pitch. Thankfully, replays exist and that girl SLAYED!
She was all over the goal! I'm so proud of her individual performance from the semis!
Ash is in grey doing acrobatic things like a boss!
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Where's the rain?
A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
Its like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most
'cause you are my heaven
I'm yet prayerful.
Framily
So....this is a new word I learned from probably the first friend I've made at med school.
Apparently, we're going to be this.
Its a cross between friends and family. I can dig it. She was totally cool with little ol' gay me and I pulled the same thing I did with ML when I first met her and invited myself to her house. Yup....I'm going to NYC! That's where Fram is from.
She's also privy to the whole PhD thing and we study together. I mean....in med school all we do is study so if you study with someone you also eat with them, walk with them, basically do everything but sleep. Also the no car deal she's got going makes me a hot commodity. :-P
Just kidding...we're having a good time.
She eats my food. I must have love for her somewhere because the only other people that eat my food are ML, besties, and Andy. And she makes these cute little faces when she knows she's wrong for doing so....
Yup.... I've officially made a friend.
Oh and NYC is going to be EPIC!
Apparently, we're going to be this.
Its a cross between friends and family. I can dig it. She was totally cool with little ol' gay me and I pulled the same thing I did with ML when I first met her and invited myself to her house. Yup....I'm going to NYC! That's where Fram is from.
She's also privy to the whole PhD thing and we study together. I mean....in med school all we do is study so if you study with someone you also eat with them, walk with them, basically do everything but sleep. Also the no car deal she's got going makes me a hot commodity. :-P
Just kidding...we're having a good time.
She eats my food. I must have love for her somewhere because the only other people that eat my food are ML, besties, and Andy. And she makes these cute little faces when she knows she's wrong for doing so....
Yup.... I've officially made a friend.
Oh and NYC is going to be EPIC!
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Nothing
I did absolutely nothing yesterday. I didn't even write this blog post yesterday.
It was glorious.
I put my phone on airplane mode, turned on my wifi, and chilled.
Of course I cooked, but cooking is relaxing over here at Casa de Dub North!
Watched some vintage women's soccer....rolled over in my bed a few times.
Today I have to get my life including:
1. Rosemary Braised Lamb
2. Washing and fixing hair
3. Studying
4. Laundry
5. Soccer game at 4:30pm/gym life
6. Night Call at 7 pm
7. Playoff game for Washington Spirit during call so..... twitter watching!
Busy few hours for the kid!
It was glorious.
I put my phone on airplane mode, turned on my wifi, and chilled.
Of course I cooked, but cooking is relaxing over here at Casa de Dub North!
Watched some vintage women's soccer....rolled over in my bed a few times.
Today I have to get my life including:
1. Rosemary Braised Lamb
2. Washing and fixing hair
3. Studying
4. Laundry
5. Soccer game at 4:30pm/gym life
6. Night Call at 7 pm
7. Playoff game for Washington Spirit during call so..... twitter watching!
Busy few hours for the kid!
Friday, September 11, 2015
Inaugural Spoken Word
Tonight, for the very first time, I performed this piece I wrote for the girl I love. It went really well. My classmates were super supportive and were talking about how they needed to up their game :-P
Here it is!
Me, Her, and God
A stream
then a river
makes its way down my chin spilling down the sides of my mouth
making a little pool where my necks meets my chest
I’m going to make love to you like the sky is falling
Like God is coming for His own and the best form of worship I can muster to show my devotion to Him is through this union
My tongue meets warmth
decadent sweet
grounded
untamed
femininity
quivers reverberate as her grip slips
the headboard her only anchor to the ground
my tongue
her connection to the divine
Being inside you touches the tips of my weary soul longing for home
Tidal wave after tidal wave flood down my face
finding my ears
my hair line
any place that it will
her essence handled skillfully
delicately
boldly
without reservation
she
tumbles over the 3rd peak of this mountain range
I play her body like a pipe organ, using the totality of mine to bring pleasure to her
Like two beacons of light indistinguishable from each other but on different wavelengths, my excitation inducing yours and your emission unraveling the essence of me
Sweat trickles down my hand
her back undulating to a rhythm we've created
glistening by street light
Thighs
all around me
thighs
warm, soft, powerful
my head nestled between them
entering a tunnel leading to promised territory
to a place of plenty
a space where no lack exists
ample
abundant
caramel colored
Her nipples press back into my hands
caressing them
I kneed her gently
she needs me ferociously
I want to make love to you like making love will usher in the kingdom of God
Where my worship to my God is real and my intimacy with you is ordained
throbbing
erect
slick
engorged
mucosal membranes exchanging energy
hands firmly gripping hips
maintaining position
babbling descending from her mouth
as she straddles mine
there's more territory to be explored
more valleys
more cliffs
the softness of her belly
which one day will hold tomorrow
striped already
marked with love called biscuits with jam
hush puppies and banana pudding
gorgeously sloping to
desire
the roundness of her where
my hands will rest
finding home there in sleep to come
But now
My fingers find her path
with no resistance
etching into her a map to ecstasy
two
three
four
before the grip my right hand maintained, falters
Brazen and bold
searching and finding
she now takes the reins
and rides into the place we've both been traveling to
the Earth's crust cracks
as I hear only the first syllable of my name
through water
Her core forcing itself deeper into my suction
feeling her quakes reverberate into my jaw
12
15
19 tremors
copious femininity flows from her into me
and me into 500 TC
her skeleton unable to sustain her
she tumbles literally
leaving the throne of my mouth
for the softness of pillow top
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
To Greet You
Its easy to feel desperate and alone in the darkness, but please believe me when I say you are not the only one struggling to make it through the night.
Stop asking yourself, " What if I can't make it through the night?" Start asking yourself, "What if I held on until morning?"
During the day, you can see the people who make you feel aloe or go to your favorite coffee shop or bookstore or take yourself on a date. You can face the problems that feel insurmountable in the darkness.
So stay.
Stay with me.
Stay with us.
We'll be there with you ruing the night, and we'll be there to greet you in the mooring.
We'll see you tomorrow.
~Fortesa Latifi
Stop asking yourself, " What if I can't make it through the night?" Start asking yourself, "What if I held on until morning?"
During the day, you can see the people who make you feel aloe or go to your favorite coffee shop or bookstore or take yourself on a date. You can face the problems that feel insurmountable in the darkness.
So stay.
Stay with me.
Stay with us.
We'll be there with you ruing the night, and we'll be there to greet you in the mooring.
We'll see you tomorrow.
~Fortesa Latifi
Monday, September 7, 2015
Trees and Limbs
So, I'm going out on a huge limb Friday.
I'm kind of nervous because its a big deal but it shouldn't be.
Wish me courageous thoughts and bold action!
I'll write about it after :-)
I'm kind of nervous because its a big deal but it shouldn't be.
Wish me courageous thoughts and bold action!
I'll write about it after :-)
Tomorrow
"Above all else, we choose to stay. We choose to fight the darkness and the sadness, to fight the questions and the lies and the myth of all that’s missing. We choose to stay, because we are stories still going. Because there is still some time for things to turn around, time for surprises and for change. We stay because no one else can play our part.
Life is worth living.
We’ll see you tomorrow"
~TWLOHA
World Suicide Prevention Week starts today.
Take care of your people. Make sure they know you love them and they're not alone. Be kind to yourself.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
He sends flowers after the rain...
Often times I wonder what God is doing....
Then I remember He's God
and I'm me
and trusting Him will never steer me wrong.
Then I remember He's God
and I'm me
and trusting Him will never steer me wrong.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Holy Space
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
-Washington Irving
-Washington Irving
Friday, September 4, 2015
You Still
And there it was.
Simply put.
So many words describing many of the promises I want to make to my bride.
So many utterances I've made on knees going numb in prayer for our marriage.
Too often the desire of my heart for you to be mine, unfulfilled.
And yet, I trust Him enough that if He's going to do it, He doesn't need any help from me.
And yet, I trust Him enough that if He's going to do it, He doesn't need any help from me.
This song is definitely on the wedding reception play list because I mean every last one of them.
This is my love song to you
Let every woman know I'm yours
So you can fall asleep each night, babe
and know I'm dreaming of you more
You're always hoping that we make it
You always want to keep my gaze
Well you're the only one I see, love
And that's the one thing that won't change.
I will never stop trying.
I will never stop watching as you leave.
I will never stop losing my breath
every time I see you looking back at me.
I will never stop holding your hand.
I will never stop opening your door.
I will never stop choosing you, babe.
I will never get used to you.
And with this love song to you
It's not a momentary phase.
You are my life, I don't deserve you.
But you love me just the same.
And as the mirror says we're older,
I will not look the other way.
You are my life, my love, my only
And that's the one thing that won't change.
I will never stop trying.
I will never stop watching as you leave.
I will never stop losing my breath
every time I see you looking back at me.
I will never stop holding your hand.
I will never stop opening your door.
I will never stop choosing you, babe.
I will never get used to you.
You still get my heart racing
You still get my heart racing for you.
You still get my heart racing
You still get my heart racing for you.
I will never stop trying.
I will never stop watching as you leave.
I will never stop losing my breath
every time I see you looking back at me.
I will never stop holding your hand.
I will never stop opening your door.
I will never stop choosing you, babe.
I will never get used to you.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
No Doubt
I was talking to some classmates about how I use to be with the girl I love and they were like "where do they make girls like you at?"
You know....I had to tell them its an internal motivation. When I look at her, I just want to do better. I want her to be as comfortable as possible, as well taken care of as I can manage. It has to come from within. You have to care that deeply to manifest it outwardly. You can't fake it. I know I can't.
I just don't love anyone the way I love her.
I've only been intrinsically motivated by love in this way once. I'd marry the girl that makes me feel this way, no doubt.
All the love in this world,
I wanna give to this girl because she makes me wanna be a better girl
And all the games I've played are in the past
Because I know this one's gonna last
Its crazy how she makes me wanna be a better girl for her
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
She Is by EKM
This woman I really admire created a piece of art that includes a poem today about loving her wife and the evolution of that. I love that kind of vulnerability. I've used this space to be vulnerable and transparent often. Its liberating. Its freeing. When you love so intensely, its nice to write it out, get it out into a space bigger than myself. Its good to put love into the atmosphere.
Lord knows, I love her still.
#LoveLoveLove
#LoyaltyDevotionFidelity
#YAAMR
Lord knows, I love her still.
#LoveLoveLove
#LoyaltyDevotionFidelity
#YAAMR
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