Things I Know For Sure #7

I know for sure that the things you want the most aren't always the easiest to get.

I know for sure that the way I love the people I love is different. My ideas about loyalty and dedication aren't ordinary. I'm an extraordinary lover in the purest of ways.

I know for sure that being emotionally open in a safe space is amazingly freeing.

I know for sure ML is going to rock her 2nd year of residency. She's a boss. She's incredible.

Wait…What?!?!?

Tongue Cancer.  Yup.

Tongue Cancer.

Now I know you're wondering why I'm bringing up the devastating disease.  Well I'll tell you.

You ready for the story? Wanna hear it? Here it goes!

So one week ago was the season premiere of The Fosters, a lovely TV program about a biracial lesbian couple raising biological, adopted, and foster children.  I'm in love with the show for a few reasons.

This is the biggest reason I love The Fosters!

I love this show because the OTP, in my opinion, is the moms and they are in a dedicated loving relationship with each other. They work together and they're so in love. Also the actresses, Sherri and Teri, are super cute and lovey dovey off set which is something I think more women should embrace. Affection is affection…you can love someone without it having anything to do with sex but I digress.

Technically this show can be seen as a teenage drama due the the preponderance of time spent with the children but I watch for the whole dynamic. The moms, the kids, and the Moms AND kids. 

So I had to have an intervention of sorts with the youngest of my grandfather's granddaughters, of which I am the oldest, because being the oldest means a whole lot in my family. So I wasn't going to be able to catch my show in the privacy of the playroom at my parents' house. I was forced to watch the premiere in my Aunt's living room surrounded by my mother, her two sisters, me, my sister, and my two first cousins.

Now….I know you're thinking this ain't half bad.  Oh but I'm getting to it. I'm soooo getting to it.

Previously, I'd expressed that I didn't think my aunt was going to like the show. My aunt has on numerous occasions expressed disdain with homosexuality. She isn't a fan and dare I say isn't very tolerant.

So the show starts and we're a few minutes in when THAT aunt says

"Are those two women together?"

And I replied "Yes, they're married actually."

A few beats pass and then she starts into this story that literally BLEW. MY. MIND.

"Well, I have a student who's mom is dying of tongue cancer and the mom is a lesbian."

My reaction

"Okay…what does that have to do with anything?" I ask innocently knowing EXACTLY what my aunt is trying to imply.

Her response? "Well she's a lesbian and she has tongue cancer. They are definitely connected"

My next reaction immediately followed by…

HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

I was literally rolling around on the floor laughing because girl WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So my sister, who never misses a beat and is a pharmacist licensed in two states, says "But then wouldn't a lot of men have tongue cancer too?"

Same parents, same upbringing, and holding two doctorates between us!

Yup… my sister, the PHARMACIST, swoops in with the logic!

My aunt's response was basically "Why would they?"

Reaction

And my sister was again ready for the kill!

"How would they not Aunt?"

Then me and my sister basically cut up about how "Ain't no boy around me not getting the tongue cancer if that's where it comes from!!!!!!"

My other aunt cuts in with a "I'm too young for this conversation" all the while my mother says nothing.

We were so blown. You're sitting a room with a cancer researcher and a clinical pharmacist trying to argue that cancer comes from lesbian intimacy?!?!? Which I'd like to point out is a part of the sexual activity many heterosexual couples engage in…. which my aunt pointed out that all people don't engage in. O___O

 Now to this idea that not all people engage in this type of intimacy I say to each his own but I'll be the first to say I don't know a single girl my age who isn't or hasn't participated in this activity. 

So at this point we've established not only that my aunt believes lesbian intimacy causes tongue cancer but that she also thinks she knows more about cancer than me and my sister.  Let's point out that this NOT. TRUE.

So me and my sister get to bantering.

I'm T1 and she's T2 (T short for Thing like in Doctor Seuss)

T1: You have a doctorate right?

T2: Yes. And you're about to have a doctorate right?

T1: Yes. and I'm a scientist right?

T2: Yes….and don't you study cancer?

T1: Why yes…yes I do.

T2: And while you were in school did you learn where cancer comes from?

T1: Why yes yes I did. Genetics. Mutations of P53, DNA damage.

T2: So Aunt, when did you learn about cancer in school?

Aunt: I didn't.

T1 and T2: WELL THEN!

So we go back and forth, around and around like this until my aunt says

"Well I know about this girl and this situation and I think being a lesbian caused this and she's going to die before December from this cancer."

 My response? 

"Aunt, I have to have 250 references for my dissertation and you're telling me you have one case with a bad fallacy. I mean your causality is insane!"

My aunt says "Well this is what I know."

Me and T2 are just like "Yea and what you know is NOTHING about cancer!"

How we were feeling about Aunt's comments: Look away because the ignorance will blind you.

So my mom then figures out exactly what she wants to say.

What did she say to a room full of female family members? 

"So, does anyone in here like women?"

Really mom? REALLY?!?!?!

Now I don't know who in the room may have been interested in women but what I will say is GIRL WHAT?!?!?

Did my mom honestly think that after her sister said that lesbian intimacy causes tongue cancer that anyone in the room who was in the closet would suddenly decide that now is the time to waltz out of that closet, into the light and their truth?  I mean really?

My sister…ever on the spot in this situation was on it!  Like a doubles tennis player she got right to that ball with a giant

GIRL WHAT? You must be outside your mind asking us that?!?!?!

And that politely shut my mom down and we had to hear nothing more about it.

Now after The Fosters was over my aunt said she liked the show but that being homosexual was still an abomination. O___O

My sister and I promptly grabbed our keys, grabbed our purses, gave some brief hugs AND left her house.

What I Know For Sure #6

I know for sure that I'll never have to worry about someone seeing my little boy's physical presence as a threat.  I also know that someone will definitely feel that way if I have a son that looks like me.

I know for sure that Sabs is the best personal trainer I've ever had. I'm gonna have to sneak in a session with her when I'm in town. 

I know for sure that my favorite color is purple. I didn't need a survey to tell me that. I apparently told my mother at the tender age of 3, that I was wearing my favorite outfit for picture day and it was my favorite because it is purple. My bedroom at home is purple and when I buy a house, my bedroom there will be purple too.

I know for sure that having served this church for 2 years was a blessing. Sometimes, I had to step away and regroup but they always welcomed me back and let me gift shine from the lighting board. I'm gonna miss that lighting system.

I know for sure that sometimes the best you can do isn't going to be perceived that way but as long as you know its the best you can do, you can't ask more of yourself.

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Have you ever been hurt good?  I mean hurt down to the bone?

I mean rolling over in bed wakes you up from your slumber because its so painful.

My big sexy bed…complete with 9 pillows.  

And its also wicked awesome.

Sabs.

Sabs hurts me good.

After the great success I've had with her plan firming up everything…and by firm I mean "I no longer wear a spanx under my church clothes" firm, my aunt paid for a few more sessions with Sabrina.

Sabrina remember?  No.

  

Stole this off the website. Sabs didn't want to be photographed all off the cuff.

Legs?  Yes Legs…now you know who I'm talking about.

Legs. Period. End of Conversation.

She hurt me so good. Obviously today I called her name a million times…every time I was slightly off balance and had to activate my squads to stay upright.  Or every time I took a step, got into or out of my car, or sat down in a chair.  I was saying her name and NOT with glee.

Yesterday, we did a hotel workout that consisted of what I felt was a whole lot of BS!

First were prisoner squats which are your basic squat. 25 of those.

Then 40 forward lunges so 20 each leg.

At this point I was like okay….lets move away from legs.

Nope!

She hit me with 50 squat jumps. Yes 50. And I surely looked at her like

Yup…and she still made me do all 50.

Next was pushups then right back into those quads with plie squats followed by Back lunges.

At this point I was just like Sabs…get out of my life.  But it wasn't over yet.

Lung jumps decided to waltz into my life next and proceeded to ruin it to the tune of 25 per leg.

We grabbed some sit ups and some plank action and it was over.  

Except it wasn't. See if I was really doing this by myself I'd have 3 more rounds of everything I wrote to go.  

3

More 

Rounds

Fortunately, we had another workout to run through as my alternate hotel workout.

there were 25 single leg lunges to do with on foot on a chair and the other one being the sole supporter of all your weight.  Yea….let's just say neither of my legs were happy to be in that position.

Mountain climbers weren't awful except that my clothes, including my workout clothes, are too big and thus I had to keep stopping and pulling my pants up. 

I'm at the point where my pants don't stay put until I've sweat enough that they stick to me. Sexy I know.

Wouldn't want anyone to see anything they aren't privileged to see. Sabs said her hubby would have her in sweats working out if he could. O__O

She said hell to the naw to that which is why she is my kind of trainer.

Chair dips tried to end my life as they tweaked my wrists.

High knees weren't too bad until I got to around the 25 mark…with 25 more to go.  Sabs don't love me.

There were some pushups with side rotation that I just had to get of the chair and onto the ground to complete cause girl it was NOT HAPPENING! My wrists were like "Its you or me and its not going to be me!"

Grabbed so burpees and some bicycle crunches and we were out!.

Today…I'm one sore puppy. My back and my quads are like "Take me to the king" and I'm also in the middle of packing. 

Sabs is so good for me…and so bad for me at the same. damn. time.

Also… she invited ML to join me in these weight free ass kicking workouts. Yea…No Sabs. I'd like for ML to still love me and if she did these, she wouldn't. She definitely would not.  

Isn't that degrading…?

So I was having a conversation with a coworker about going out.

On occasion, various non Black people have floated into and out of my life and have made a simple yet complex request. They want to go to the Black club.

This is exactly how I look at them after they say this!

Now usually, I can quite simply say no.  Why? Because they don't know what they're asking for and they often aren't ready. Yes I said it. They aren't ready.  

Now as many people's only Black friend, I realize that they will never be able to go to the Black club alone and feel comfortable without me and I think that's a good thing. You don't necessarily have any business at the Black club AND I wouldn't really want you to go without knowing a soul. The club isn't a solo activity…its a group activity. Everyone Black knows you don't go alone.

One girl swore she was ready for the Black club and when we were at a bar I danced with her exactly like someone would dance with her at a Black club. 

So I'm telling this story to my coworker...

So imagine….

We're at a bar and she's talking again about how she wants to go to the Black club. She's Russian from Russia and we're in Omaha.  Just a little context for you.  SO….. some song came on like Usher's Lemme See feat. Rick Ross. If you don't know it…head on over to Youtube and get that in your life. 

So the song was appropriately grown and sexy and I said to her

"I'm going to dance with you like a guy and maybe a girl would dance with you at the Black club to see if you can handle it before I agree to take you with me."

So at first I just danced real close behind her to see how she took that.  By the 2nd chorus she seemed to think she was doing good. Now mind you, I was keeping her on BEAT!

See…we already got problems but I digress.

When Usher started that 2nd verse, I firmly but gently bent that girl forward. <----This is the real test of whether or not you, little girl, are ready for the Black club.

AND she promptly FAILED! She was all flustered and confused. She clearly didn't want to be bent over nor controlled in this way and I said "See you not ready! This is what's happening at the Black club and if you ain't down then you can't come."  She still insisted she could hang but of course I knew she couldn't and I never took her to a Black club.

End Story

Now my coworker is like wait….so y'all bend people over at the club? 

My response? 

Yea girl!

She then tells me that she was reading….yes reading on a forum about when it becomes appropriate in a relationship to allow certain activities to take place because they're degrading or disrespectful to women…..

Activities that Black music talks about all the time if you smell what I'm cooking…

Moral of the story: Things Black people love and enjoy aren't universally loved and enjoyed. And from the music I listen to, they should be everyone's bread and butter. 

What I Know for Sure #5

I know for sure that having a little sister has blessed me immeasurably and made me a better human being.

I know for sure that this man loves me and believes in my dreams.  He's my steadfast support.

I know for sure that the gym is a sanctuary where my ability to do better is entirely on my own two shoulders.

I know for sure that this quote is absolutely true.

I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that love is love. Find it where ever you can and cherish it.

We're the same age….once again!

That's the picture that comes up on my phone with my little sister calls. She's not that little anymore though.

We're both 26. Yes I said both.  Today is her birthday.  Mine isn't until July. That means we are in fact Irish twins and the same age for about a month.

We're twins!

Today is also my anniversary of becoming a sister and becoming Thing 1.  She's Thing 2.

After getting the David Yurman ring she wanted for her PharmD graduation.

After buying her first Louis!

During my visit to see Obama get sworn in for the 2nd time!

She going out for GHOE while I'm staying home to reach fan fiction <--perfectly describes just how different we are

Out to eat at our favorite BBQ place! I try to stop for dinner if I make it out of ATL on time!

Just before our road trip to Nashville. We were stuntin' in our Dad's Benz truck! 

At our cousin's graduation from our alma mater, Hampton University.

She's something else but she's my something else.  I love her dearly. She's the gift my parents got me that keeps on giving. We haven't always been close but I thank God we are now.  Not just because of the Tiffany's and the Beyonce' tickets…though they didn't hurt!  Thanks Tuuks!

Love,

Teeka

Vacation 2014

This year I decided to take a vacation to my parents' house.

It. was. glorious. 

My parents went to Hilton Head since they have actual money and I went and parked my lovely Honda in their garage and enjoyed all the amenities.

First, I turned to AC down to 70. Yup, I like it cold. Then I put on my sweats and had a party all by myself.

Over the course of a few days I sat in every room in their house except the piano parlor, formal dining, and bedrooms that weren't mine.  Well to be completely transparent, I was definitely laying across my parents' bed since I took a bath in their Jacuzzi tub every single night.

Since a picture is worth 1,000 words…

My sister left this in the freezer….I left the container in the trash ;-)

Oh sweet sweet peace

For me?!?!?

Little thigh action

Priorities

Small interruption in my flow due to allergies.  I bought those at 5 am from Walmart...

Me

Being

Me

Caught the President's address to West Point for their Commencement Exercises this year.

Visited my darling boy

He's just the sweetest thing. We read Love You Forever before bed. 

And after…I watched TV on my laptop from this locale.

I also talked to ML for a whole hour from the comfort of my parents'  den which is a great accomplishment since she's a resident! 

My time at home was perfection.  I took a bath every night and catered to all my introverted ways by day. I saw no one I didn't want to see and everyone I purposed to see. Vacation at its finest.

I can't wait for my parents to leave again so I can take over their lovely abode.