I've always been very interested in higher education. My dad was in higher ed. But to be honestly, I'd been running from it.
It seemed so daunting and much like my mentor, who also had Imposter Syndrome, I struggle with people really seeing me and thinking I can do the thing I just did that almost killed me every single day.
So yea....I was running.
That's over.
My 3rd mentor was just named Dean.
I have 3 female mentors who are deans now.
I get it God.
Its my inheritance.
But anyway....lets talk about how I got this new mentor.
She was one of the critical faculty of the M2 year for the first 7ish weeks.
I hit a wall in step studying. I'd increased my accuracy rate by 17% but I still wasn't where I needed to be and I cold emailed her.
In that May 19th email I said
"I promise I'm not not dumb, I actually got a PhD before I came to medical school in Pharmaceutical Science.
Please let me know if you can help"
That's a thing I do. Because a lot of my identity is still found in my intelligence, I often feel the need to tell people I'm not dumb when I'm struggling.
Can I tell you what she said back?
"I know how smart you are because you were in many of my small groups. In fact, your intellectual curiosity, confidence and articulate style really stood out for me. That is what is going to see you through your career. Exams are just a hurdle we have to pass and are not reflective of the skills you need to become a very effective and efficient physician. So hang in there."
We proceeded to work together 3 hours twice a week in preparation for me to take STEP. She went over every question I got wrong and every question I was getting right for the first time if it was a concept I previously struggled with. She was amazing.
Do you know what continues to tell me?
The very same thing.
She even says "I am impressed as always but I know you will shrug it off as a mere compliment to make you happy. "
She embarrasses me because I think the things I'm doing are exactly what it means to be the college wide Vice President of Education but that's not how anyone else has approached the position. But I love her for it. She makes me feel like what I'm doing matters. She calls me a champion for students that follow. She gets me AND she has time for me. In 1 short month, she became more to me than some people have over years.
It clicks like that when someone becomes your mentor. Its like it always was.
And you know when they buy into you, you buy into them too. When I heard about her promotion, I went directly to her and congratulated her. I was and am so proud. She's been so diligent in her advocacy and excellence in teaching over the years and its high time someone rewarded that effort. She's a rockstar.
Truly.
