Nothing changes the attitudes of those who may have some degree of prejudice like finding out they are discriminating against someone they know or love.
I've found that those who might feel some type of way, especially in the devoutly Christian church settings I'm often in, will hold their tongue and temper their speech when they realize that I am both devoutly Christian and LGBTQ. Though admitting this has lowered a glass ceiling on my leadership positions in churches that don't believe in gay marriage, it hasn't marred any relationships. I haven't had anyone try to convince me of anything nor have I been dismissed when I liken my companion to someone's wife or husband. I openly use terms of endearment for what I'm involved in and my peers are fine with it. The lack of the leadership position possibilities is disconcerting but I still served and love to serve.
Serving
Like
a
boss!
Its so interesting to me that people fail to see that you can be devoutly Christian and not be heterosexual at the same time. I've often had to pick one and I have historically picked devoutly Christian because that's vital to my existence. Now I'm not saying queerness isn't but what I am saying is that my faith causes me to be celibate so my sexuality, no matter what it is, isn't an active part of my life. Much like my heterosexual devoutly Christian counterparts, I ascribe to the following
"Don't let you level of intimacy exceed your level of commitment."
What does that mean to me? It means you need to be committed to someone mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before you are physically intimate. I know my Ephesians and it talks about presenting your bride without spot or wrinkle. Whoever I marry, I'd like to present ourselves this way before the altar for marriage. <---This is my I could pick my spirituality over my sexuality.
My sexuality exists within the confines of my Christianity.
Let's switch gears a minute.....
As a person who identifies as LGBTQ, I've found simply saying "my companion" in the same context as others say "boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband" not only makes people aware of who I am but I've also found most are there and ready.
In academia, as soon as I allude to my non-heterosexuality, everyone is on board with the program and aware.
I love that.
I love that all I have to do is say "I'm here and I'm not straight" and everyone acknowledges that and moves on.
I also love that I get just as much respect for my relationships and people I value as I give others. I'm a senior student whose dissertation is due tomorrow and my sexuality doesn't take away from that. My ability to lead doesn't change because of who I love.
Academia has its perks but you won't see them if you don't speak up.
I always knew the importance of visibility as a Black girl scientist but now I'm learning about it in a whole new way.
Be seen. Be Visible. Be you.
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