I'm Sure

So earlier this week I was on the phone with my mother who asked me about the HPV vaccine. Ironically enough HPV is on my exam on Tuesday. Our first test is general principles of pathology, microbiology, and intro to pharmacology. The HPV vaccine is a cancer vaccine since the majority of people who develop cervical cancer have had this virus. Its critical that people get it, both boys and girls. When it was coming about in my teen years, I knew I didn't need it.

The HPV vaccine isn't as necessary for women who don't sleep with men. Anyone who engages in sex with men should most definitely get it. So I told my mom that it was for "heterosexual women and men."

She was like "You're not heterosexual? You don't think you're a girl?"

I had to patiently explain that she was confusing gender with sexuality and that I am a girl who thinks I'm a girl which means I'm cis-gendered. I am not heterosexual, aka straight.

So yea...she goes on her "I have been watching you your whole life and you definitely liked guys."

I told her as clearly as I could that I wanted to get married and I thought the only way I could was to marry a guy. My whole goal was to be considered an adult. You see in my family, you're not really grown until you're married. I just wanted to be able to tell folks "No, I can't make it because my spouse and I....." or "I have to check with my spouse" and getting out of doing things I didn't want to do. Of course I didn't lay it out to my mother that clearly but that's the truth.

Then she went on this "Well you met girls who liked girls in college and you are being influenced" talk. I redirected her to the fact that I dated girls in high school.

Then she tried "You should at least try men before you claim to be gay."

EXCUSE ME.... WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Yes. you read correctly. My mother suggested I engage in an activity that gives people permanent diseases and kids "just" to be sure I don't want to be with men!

I'd also like to point out the fact that my mother clearly thinks I'm completely inexperienced with men. That's laughable since I'm cute and 29 but okay girl.

Anyway, it was totally and completely weird. She went on to say this is my only life so I need to be sure so I should give men a try. I was so out done. I had to get her off my phone because at this point I'd put her on mute and was leaping around my apartment in response to this foolishment.

I'm sure girl.

I'm going to propose. 

I'm getting married. 

She's going to have my name and my babies. 

I'm sure.