A Gift

You're the one my soul loves
but maybe
just maybe
you're not what God has for me
If you are, His will will make your will
manifest itself in my life
as my partner
and my future wife

I only want to want to be where God is
though sometimes my heart aches to be where you are
I have to move based on truth
on the solid rock of the faith I have in God
not my feelings
which cling to you like wet clothes after spring showers

My feeling say you're the one
And maybe one day His will and your will
might bring you into my space permanently
but until then
No
because we're not in the same place or space
because I love you
because He loves me
and His love for me only endeavors to do right by me
and my love for you
though committed to forever
must having reciprocation

I can see my wife in you
but if you don't see the same in me
Then we aren't
He isn't
And I've got to be where He is
Even if I can't be where my heart wants to be
Because I'll break my own heart
Before I wander away from Him
Because I love you
But He loves me more than I can begin to imagine

I want a forever with you
He's offered me an eternity with Him
I still think you're worth it
I can have both
an eternity with Him and a forever or two with you
Because He knows that its Him in me that the enables me to offer a forever to you
My risk averse heart wants to tell the world
She
Her
That one
The one
Because He makes me brave and bold and wise enough to see a good thing

Fidelity
Loyalty
Love
Devotion
You've got mine
The only things you don't have
My ring
My name
My children

Everything will be added if I seek Him
I hope to add my last name to yours
but if that never happens
everything will be different from my dream
but He can dream a better dream for me than I ever will

He's got my life
I've got to hold fast to what He's promised
Because I can't dream a better dream
than rolling over to you
forever
But maybe He has

You're the one
or maybe you aren't
But I've learned many things on this journey
I know what it feels like to love someone so completely
to be willing to say yes
to a lifetime at a time
To be willing to say no
I'll never leave you or forsake you
To say yes
Your happiness is my happiness
 your joy my joy
your pain my pain
your triumph my triumph
To say no
to ever being the reason you're hurting
To say
This is my wife.
I'm so blessed.

The lessons are priceless
even if I never get to tell anyone
My soul loved this woman,
having loved her is a gift.