Normal

I guess there's not point in fighting it.
She's going to be in my dreams.
She's just there.
I read something that said dreams are the result of things you can't work out in your wakefulness.
Well God, she is for sure something I haven't worked out.
The question is are you?
and I know the answer.
Of course you are. All things work together right?
So yea, you're working on it...whatever that mean.
Its so funny though because my dreams
they're so freaking pleasant.
Last night, I was walking towards her and she looked up at me.
She looked at me the way I look at her and it honestly blew me away.
I wonder if anyone looks at her the way I use to?
I wonder if anyone loves her the way I do? I hope so.
But in my dream
I curled around her, put my hand on her stomach, and just existed in the same space as her.
Eventually we fell asleep.
I literally woke up because in my dream, she started moving in her sleep and I was adjusting.
I peaked my eye open, saw she wasn't there, and thought
"guess she's up" followed by "no.....no Philise she wasn't here. That was a dream."
And you know what?
I didn't fight it.
I didn't get upset.
I just went back to sleep.
When my mind's done trying to figure out when or if she'll ever be with me, I'll stop dreaming of her.
Until then, I'm done fighting.
She's not going away, at least not in my dreams.
She's part of my normal.

What I learned?
If stopped fighting it,  it'll stopped beating me up.
We can both exist.

Two realms, two separate realities 

At least I still see her sometimes, even if it's a dream.