Y'all funny

My friends.

My cuddly, hand holding, play in my hair, let me put my head in your lap, can you give me a massage friends.

A lot of them seem to think that they should get girlfriend privileges. Legit ass.

One of them gets sick and they think I'm going to cook for them, and to be fair sometimes I do but it shouldn't be an expectation. 

I go somewhere cool by myself and snap about it or post about and its "Why didn't you take me with you?"

Girl huh?

You're not my girlfriend. You don't get to go everywhere I go.

"I need to talk to you ASAP" text comes through and then calls before I even respond.
Girl what? I'm busy.

And then they want to be mad. 

Girl for what? Its not like you wanted to be my girlfriend and I told you no. 

You're my friend. That's all I want you to be and even if you want some privileges, its actually all you want to be too girl.

I refuse to ever treat a girl like anything but a friend ever again without an explicit conversation that ends with "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Why? Because I'm really good at being more than a friend and other people are really good at accepting my affection with no regard for how it'll affect me when they say "Yea I like all that stuff but I'm with someone else" or "Girl you know I'm straight" 6 months into this thing.

Nope. 

Never again.

I ain't got the time.

These hetero women I'm friends with. 

They really do have the game fucked up so very often.

The only ASAPs I know are my sister, my future job (that sometimes I do now), and my future wife (who I'm yet praying for). That's it.