Love
Them.
And you know what the difference between these babies is.
Nothing.
Both were wanted and loved.
BUT my coworker decided she didn't see it this way.
I know what you're thinking….you're on the right track.
So I said that my bestie from church had a baby and I'd previously said that our families wanted us to date each other. That was a no go. But I love him and his baby is DUMB cute. That pic is from 4 days old but now
She's a doll!
So I was talking about how this baby makes my ovaries hurt at church every Sunday and she was like
"Oh so he married someone else?"
Ummmmm no. He wanted a baby so he had one. <--- My perfectly legit response and his perfectly legit reasoning.
My bestie is 27 years old and he works very hard to provide for his daughter. There is no reason why he shouldn't or can't have a baby if he wants to.
Then she says this
This ignorant ass shit <---Language because I am about to go….there!
She said "You should marry a white person because white people don't do things like that."
EXCUSE ME!?!?!?!?!??!!
Do things like what? Have babies they really want? Have babies outside of marriage? Are you kidding me? You have got to be outside your mind!
I.
Was.
HOT.
Send the degrees required to liquify nitrogen gas in the opposite direction of that zero and that's where I was!
And I was stunned.
My first response was "I don't think my dad would very much like that" because that's all I could think of.
I'm a Barack Obama supporting, liberal Democrat voting, HBCU degree holding Black woman and damn proud to be all of that. I am also a woman who wants to work at a public hospital despite these multiple doctorates I'll eventually hold because Black people are MY PEOPLE and they are disproportionately affected by poverty and lack of access!
My dream job….Grady. NOT UNC-Chapel Hill or Wake. Grady…where I can help people that look just like me.
You don't know me.
There is no reason for you to assume this is appropriate to say to me or ANY Black person. I am, in fact, open to dating a variety of people but that doesn't mean that I will discredit or discount or NOT count my Black men among the number.
They're my men. Men of my community, and your Eurocentric viewpoint may not allow you to see how him choosing to have a baby makes sense but it makes sense to me.
You may not see how 400 years of slavery and the systematic destruction of the Black family affect Black people every day but I do.
You may not see how he is just as involved as LP's dad despite not being married to his daughter's mother, but I do.
You don't know that this friend lost his father basically before he could remember him and maybe he'd like to be a Dad.
You don't know him.
You don't know me.
You don't know my lived experience.
You don't know the Black experience.
And you should keep your mouth off of all of it!
Have several seats.
I quite literally had to circle back around like 5 minutes later to say
"You probably shouldn't tell Black people that they shouldn't marry within their race. That's a racist statement even though I know you aren't racist."
Her response: "With all due respect, you're the only Black person I know."
Well at least she won't accost another Black person with this and get laid out for it!
No comments:
Post a Comment