Yup.. she wants me to be great but becoming so will involve a lot of this. And my this, I mean me getting my butt kicked 3 times a week.
Want to hear it? Here it go!
So I gingerly walk in to the gym. She's all "You look tired."
My response "Yea. I was up from 4:45-6 am."
SN: I've found that sometimes when you have something you need to praise God for and you haven't yet, He'll wake up you in the middle of the night. When He does, I sho' nuff DO get right to it! So between 4:45 and 6 am, I was busy with the ugly cry and Juanita Bynum. I gave Him all the praise so that means that this face of mine, was surely swollen.
Yup…swimming in my feelings of gratitude.
Oh and its night float for ML. It ends next week but let me tell you: its a journey for those who aren't actually busy doing the floating, especially if you're me. You see me, me's big on sleep, exercise, eating, and happiness. Night float is big on no sleep, forget exercise, eat whatever you can find that's fast, and don't process anything because you can't keep your eyes open. This translates into me worrying about her the whole dang month. Yea…its rough.
But I digress.
So we're chatting it up and we get over to the squat bar.
Butt to bench. Oh you think thats cute?
Its not. Its totally not.
AND all those squats I'd been doing are nothing compared to the ones she has me do. Burn ain't the word. Apparently, I'd been using my whole lower body, back included, to lift what I'd been lifting and I was only doing sets of 12. Sabrina's about that 20 reps/set life. That life isn't for the faint of heart, the low of blood pressure or blood sugar.
Don't be a hero. Eat breakfast before you even think thoughts about this workout plan she's got me on. She isolated the appropriate muscles at this here squat bar and my glutes were like
"This is NOT the move"
Next up Renegade Rows. Now I've done rows so I'm thinking "This might be okay."
Note to self: Its never going to be okay with Sabrina and her nonsense.
So check it. Two 15 lb dumbbells on the floor. You're in a plank position with your legs spread apart and you're supposed to pull these up to your chest while avoiding twisting your hips.
Renegade Rows: My exact response
So I'm feeling half way good about myself before we went to do Dumbbell chest press with Ab Isolation. Picture this: Your on a bench face up. You've got 17.5 lb dumbbells in each hand and your legs are in the air at a 45 degree angle from the bench.
You wanna talk about AB ISOLATION?!?!?!
I thought my abs were gonna retire. Eventully they did. They packed up, put a note on the door, and walked out on me. Sabrina said when your abs are done, your quads kick in and mine sure did. My abs left the building on that one giving Sabrina a serious side eye upon departure.
Then she took me over to the Cable cross Fly with Lunge.
Now I know my lunges are trash. T-RASH! They are. Apparently I don't take a big enough step. Any who, we fixed that and I felt like I looked like an idiot. You see I'm accustomed to looking really good at the gym. I'm really proficient at what I normally do but Sabrina and her death contraptions made me look like a novice.
Beginner Life
We went over and grabbed the squat machine THEN the leg press. That part's important. Squat first, press second. Obviously that made my press much more pressy!
Good news: I found out the sleigh on the leg press weighs 110 lbs by itself so I didn't feel like as big of a wimp with 90 lbs added.
Now about these walking dumbbell lunges. Apparently other people refuse to do them. And by other people I mean people who don't train with Sabrina. She's not about that disobedience life. You will do these lunges. Period.
My response: Again with the lunges Sabrina? I thought you liked me? I thought we were friends?
Sabrina's Response: We are friends. You are doing these lunges. I want you be to great!
My response: This don't feel like friendship to me boo!
Anyway I struggled and triumphed with awful feeling form that wasn't actually bad at all. And I hated wearing regular tennis shoes. We are going back to the Vibrams POST HASTE!
You see these legs? They belong to Sabrina. Her whole body is sickening. SICK-ENING!
SN: I'm so glad I waited to train with her cause she's awesome and she doesn't care when I'm complaining. We're doing it anyway and she's hilarious. FUN-NY!
So at this point I'm dripping sweat. Its not cute at all…but eventually I will be even cuter ;-)
We parlayed (okay now you know we didn't actually parlay. Sabrina doesn't parlay) over to the seated row which I already do so that was easy. While doing that I pulled up Oh Sabrina for her to read. She was like "This sounds exactly like you. Exactly how you talk." She laughed and congratulated me on being out of that relationship. Then we actually took a small break.
Sabrina says "My husband asked me what was in the bag IMMEDIATELY when I walked in the door. He knows its something to eat when I bring home a bag. And he wanted his now! He was like "This is AMAZING, You can tell its home made!""
We then talked to another trainer who was training herself about baking and she was all about it. We schooled Sabrina about how pound cake is named so because there's a pound of butter, flour, sugar, and eggs in a true pound cake and about how cupcakes have no built in self control. NOT A DROP!
I love it when trainers know that cake exists to bless you and not to curse you! You'd think they wouldn't know that but some do. Sabrina doesn't even like cake slices. She claims all she needs is a fork. :-P Apparently my trainer is going on a cruise that will involve a number of liquid calories and she's excited about the 24 hour pizzeria! Yup, Sabrina's a keeper.
Then we grabbed some bench press action which was good but this Yoga plank hold shoulder touch thing was the last straw of the regular sneaks. My left foot came completely out of my shoe. NOT ACCEPTABLE!
The single leg dumbbell curls were "meh" but those tricep dips off the bench?
Such a good reaction I had to bring it back (so you know its real)
CUT THAT OUT!
Nope
Noppity
Nope
Nope
We went and grabbed abs which weren't bad since JJ is always kicking my butt with those via DVD and Sabrina let me know that holding my ample bosom doesn't decrease the productiveness of any exercise. Thanks girl because these twins over here: nothing to play with!
We ended with a chat about motivating the people around me to start being serious about their health too because team work makes the dream work and I dragged myself out the gym. Okay it wasn't that bad but tonight I'm sure I'll be trying to get off the couch and I'll feel EVERY REP!
So what are my fitness goals: Well I want to be strong enough that if anyone I loved dearly was injured enough to need physical help I could at least help them up stairs if not carry them. I can lift about 150 lbs right now and that's really decent for a girl but I want to be decent period. Also I want to whittle this middle, build a cuter booty, and have super muscular thunder thighs. I know big thighs aren't everyone's thing but they surely are mine!
Scratch that previous statement about feeling it later…I just got off the couch…already feeling it.
Lord, give me strength and don't let me fall down these 40 cement steps to catch the bus. Amen
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