The Value of a Sister

Remember when I said I'd tell you about YiLing and me. Well here it goes.

YiLing, as I've affectionately nicknamed her, is my grad school bestie. Her actual name is Yi, pronounced E, but I haven't called her that in 4+ years and I'm sure she'd think something was wrong if I did.

 To be quite honest we started talking because I  was assigned to the desk right beside hers. Being myself I just started talking. What I didn't know was that no one had done this before me.

You see YiLing's conversational English was lacking at best and because our lab was largely Chinese, Indian, and Russian she basically spoke Chinese unless forced to speak English.  I, on the other hand, only spoke English so I unknowingly forced YiLing out of her shell. I would later find out that besides talking science, there were whole days before I got to the lab that would go by and no one would talk to YiLing at all.

When I first met her, she wouldn't even look at the camera!

And now…someone's posing!

YiLing…grad school soldier for life! Fighting FIGHTING!

So I met YiLing, set up my desk, and immediately started talking. And you know what…YiLing listened. For a long time she listened until she'd listened enough to realize that she could talk too. And talk she did.

Well about 12 days after I started grad school, I flew out to go to my family's annual family reunion which was on a cruise ship that year. And I had me a whole bunch of fun.

So what did 12 days in the lab get me?  The most jubilant return embrace ever.
Check it!

I walked into the lab hallway which is literally the entire length of the building and WAY at the other end is YiLing. This tiny Chinese girl breaks out into a full RUN down the hallway and damn near knocked me down with a hug. Then she said very simply

"I miss you"

And that is how this whole thing started.

YiLing and I were inseparable. I could drive and she couldn't so my passenger seat became YiLing's seat and everywhere I went she went too. She became my wing woman.

When YiLing's mom came and stayed for 6 months, she mom-ed me too. I was at YiLing's every day for a fresh hot Chinese lunch and I learned to used chop sticks like a pro.

Eventually, I'd meet YiLing's entire family. How? Oh simple. My best friend invited me to go to China and through some stealth planning
(read: Conference in China that I flew in 2 weeks early for and toured the country with YiLing costing me lodging and food but not airfare or visa since I needed to fly there and back for the conference (DUH!))
I got to meet her family and see Shanghai, Beijing, Zunyi, Dalian, and a whole bunch of other places.

This friendship would span years and continents. It would influence YiLing to accept Christ and open my eyes to other cultures. This friendship made me a better friend, a better scientist, and a better citizen of the world.

Months later YiLing would tell me that I was like a sister to her because she didn't have one. YiLing was born at the height of the enforcement of the 1 Child Policy in China and her father actually left her family because YiLing was born female. HARSH!

YiLing told me she'd never had a friend like me and that this must be what its like to have a sister.

Now, I have a sister…I know the value of such. And I'm honored that YiLing feels that way about me. I feel that way about her too.

I damn near broke out into the ugly cry at my church when I took YiLing home to celebrate her completing her PhD last fall.  She got up during the visitors welcome and gave a speech about how much our friendship meant to her.

I was D.O.N.E!

My momma looked over at me and was like "There goes my sensitive behind daughter again. Crying all in service!" And my church…they welcomed YiLing, the first native Chinese person to ever attend my church, like she really was my sister.