That's what I want to talk about actually.
My mentors watch me. They keep actual tabs on me. They have always said "You know we're great and we will guide you but you need real people friends to walk with you daily."
Real People Friends
What the hell are real people friends?
Well I'm glad you asked.
Real people friends are friends that call you out on your BS. They challenge you. One of my newest ones is in my class. When I had this dispute with another friend about her boyfriend's issues with me, my real people friend challenged me about forgiveness and understanding and open communication. Where I just wanted to fade to black she was all about being in the light. That's a real people friend.
My lesbian fam back at UNC also does this for me. With issues around coming out and dealing with homophobia, they are my go to. They are my "keep trying with your parents even though they haven't gotten there yet because they need time to understand" or "go heal yourself but come back because forgiveness is valuable and this relationship is salvageable" or "screw them, they keep hurting you and knowing that they are so they don't deserve the awesome wonderfulness that is you" and yes they talk like that. Real. People. Friends.
Real people friends keep you accountable. They don't let you get away with anything or let anything slide. When I told my bestie that I wouldn't see 28 if I didn't get in medical school and she gave me a list of things she wanted me to do and wanted proof I did and IF I didn't she'd be going to my mother with all the proof of my suicidal thoughts that she had....that's a real people friend.
Real people friends listen to the same story over and over as you work out your feelings and when you want to do something suspect that remind you exactly why you shouldn't. When time and time again I've turned my situation with the girl I'm in love with over in my head and needed to talk about her and get perspective, the boys have listened patiently and given me constructive thoughts. When I seriously considered doing something that wouldn't be wise for my overall well being in regards to her, they reminded me exactly why and how I got into the situation I'm in AND why its good for me. Those are real people friends.
My real people friends keep my together on the daily while my mentors keep me on the right path to my goals and yea, big things do go to my mentors that I've already discussed with the friends but that's because I'm at a point where I just need to be told what to do because I either can't be trusted to make the right decision or I can't tell what the right decision is. Either way, between my mentors and my real people friends, I'm covered.
Resting easy...
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