You Already Did...

I was talking to the boys about the insanity that is being a woman in medicine the other day and I was saying "How can people expect us to make such drastic sacrifices for medicine?" Like seriously....how the hell is someone supposed to have a life when they're going into Thursday morning looking at a 13 hour shift when they've already logged 39 hours that week and still have to work Friday? And I'm talking about an ATTENDING'S schedule. Its insane."

You know what the boys said that had me on the phone mouth open like a fish?

"You know you did the same thing willingly."

Excuse me? What are you talking about sir?

They went on to say "When you decided to stop talking to the girl you're in love with because you knew you couldn't pass med school AND have her in your life? That was a drastic sacrifice for medicine. And you made and continue to make it."

Whoa.
Like really whoa.

I'd never considered it like that. But they're right. I can't do emotional turmoil and school work. When faced with that choice, I chose medicine.

The lid on that convo was "And you'll keep choosing it because you love it. You love it more than you love the possibility of a romantic relationship."

Welp....there it is. If a romantic relationship was stable and didn't distract from my academic pursuits, I'd be all for it. But anything that takes from my education is a hell no.

I know a while ago I wrote a post about how I hope my future wife never makes me choose. Seems I've got precedent that says she'll lose that battle BUT I also know, God wouldn't do that to me...give me a wife that would ask me to choose.  Thanks for looking out Jesus!


PS Future wife, If you ever read this I really do love you. At the time I wrote this we weren't in a relationship and the only committed relationship I was in was with my PhD. I even got a tattoo for her on our 1 year anniversary of being together ;-)