More than Me

I'm emotional
You're emotional
Could be why we always argue
Our conversations short
We can't open up
its just become much to difficult

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to prove
this is more than me
so much more than you

Can you make it through to you and I
I can't decide

I can't decide
If its you I want
Do I want to choose between
Having you in my life
or losing you for real 
because I caught feelings.......

Feelings

This is a very real question I'm turning over in my head. I use to hate that I caught feelings for her. Why? Because we really did have a phenomenal friendship. Because I really loved her until I realized that I was really in love with her.

But can I tell you what God did?
He showed me I was capable.
Capable of actually being more than smart.
Capable of caring for another person more than myself.
Capable of actually behaving in the way Ephesians calls us to in marriage.
He showed me that I could stay in the middle of His Will for me and find peace despite what the situation looked like. He showed me joy in the midst of unhappiness. He showed me that if I trusted what He was telling me in this moment, He'd be with me in the next moment.

I just can't pretend
that you're just a friend
we took it further
passion still remains
so here we are again
because we caught feelings
Feelings 

I also now know that if I ever have an issue with my wife, who I promised to cherish and devoted to, I know I'll never dissolve my marriage because I've demonstrated love when it wasn't reciprocated before without vows. I know I'm strong enough in times of great trial, to carry my marriage on my own. And you know what...I think that'll really matter considering my career.

Its Good Friday. The veil is torn. I'm just sitting here thinking about how in this very specific situation, the tearing of the veil has impacted my life so profoundly.

I still don't know what to do about this situation. Its still more than me. He's given me an end date. I'm so thankful to be able to submit to Him. There's peace there.