You think WHAT?

So yesterday my mother called and asked me a question.

She asked me if I'd told the girl I nannied for last summer that I'm gay.

Now I knew exactly where she was trying to go with this bullshit ass line of questioning so I beat her to the pass.

I said no....knowing good and well that her and her whole family knew. Additionally, her parents knew before my white coat ceremony and they still came and cloaked me. We have a great relationship.

Newsflash: Normal people don't care about your sexuality.

The fact that normal people don't care is lost on my mother. She lives in her little town in her little bubble.

She went on to tell me that if I had she would assume that I wasn't re-hired for the summer because I'm gay and she probably didn't want that around her children because she wouldn't want that around her own children. (Unbeknownst to her the kids have books about gay families because they have books about everything.)  

GIRL WHAT?!?!? Nothing about me being gay has anything to do with my interactions with children.

Oh...but my mother found a connection. Apparently being gay predisposes people to being pedophiles. Yup...she actually talked about how she wouldn't want her kids around gay adults because we might touch children inappropriately.


GIRL WHAT!?!?!? Pedophilia and homosexuality have ZERO in common.

I hit my mom with this fact: All of the male teachers at one of my best guy friend's school are gay. Every single one. And NO ONE is concerned about them touching the children.

Moreover, I'm a girl. Statistically, women aren't pedophiles. Its just not a thing.

The fact that these things are even linked in her mind is crazy. She needs to be around some people so they can help her be less in a bubble. I don't think she realizes that by saying or thinking this about gay people she thinks this about me. I'm gay people. Just like we don't let white people tell us as individuals that we "educated" Blacks are different from the rest of our race, you can't be like well my gay child isn't like that but other people's gay children are. Its all of us or none of us as a stereotype and the one you're operating with is old and tired and entirely false.

Anyway she then wanted to ask me if I was still gay and then attempted to CONVINCE me that I'm not gay. She said if anything I'm bi. Girl where? I tried to explain to her that I didn't actually like boys sexually but I wanted to be married and I didn't realize I could be married and NOT have that be with a man so I just went with it. My goal was marriage, not sex. When it became apparent to me that I could actually be with the people I'm attracted to AND be married, that's the direction I moved in.

She continued to bring up boy after boy and I was like "I wasn't attracted to them sexually. I liked them as people. Also I was a child then!" She decided to ask me what I'm actually attracted to on a woman.

FULL STOP LADY!
I was like would you ask me that if I liked men? Have you asked my sister that question?
Well then and I'm not answering you. That's not a conversation I'm having with a parent EVER.

She went to be like people still think bad things about gay people, both morally and religiously, and I might change my mind in the same way I decided to go to med school, so I should keep it to myself. She also said some crazy stuff about alternative lifestyles and I was like girl miss me with that. There's literally nothing alternative about me. I told her, if someone lives an alternative lifestyle they will find me boring. I like to read and cook and watch soccer. There's nothing alternative about me.

She tried to say there was a man drought in my life and that that's why I started liking girls. That's dead. She tried to say I change my mind a lot and I was like nope. She tried to say its just like what I did with wanting to go to med school. Nope. Girl changing my mind about what I want to do and walking in the truth of who I am are so different but I see you can't understand that because you keep equating them.

She spent so much time trying to convince me that I'm not gay because I guess if I was bi then I could still marry a man which is what she wants. Girl miss me with that. I'm not bi. And I told her if it came down to marry and man or not marrying at all, I'd be single. 

Her final piece of advice was don't tell anyone because I wouldn't want to "dissuade any young men that wanted to date me."

THAT IS PRECISELY WHY I'M OUT GIRL!  I don't want to have anything remotely close to a whip of sexual anything with a boy. Get that from around me. I'm honestly disgusted by it AND by women who have been with men recently. I'll never understand trying to turn a straight girl. For what?

I'm out because I'm also Black in public and left handed and got the nickname Phifa because I'm obsessed with women's soccer. I'm out because it just is. I'd hate to miss out on an amazing girl because I was pretending to be straight or even just being silent. That's dead.

So yes, they clearly don't know I'm out in all aspects of my life. Also...no one has a problem with it or thinks I'm odd. Its really no biggie.

I wonder how long it'll take them to get it together. Lord help!