Sometimes we love a person so that we can realize how much love we are capable of giving. They need love and we have the ability to give it.. so we are allowed the opportunity to give it.
But we take their inability to love us with the same intensity as a sign that something about us is hard to love. We regret giving so much of ourselves because we are left in pain wondering why what we gave was not valued or appreciated.
Just remember this: the love that you give never goes to waste.
I picked out a few lines from a quote and put them above.
The thing is, I don't regret giving so much of myself.
I don't.
I do know things about myself that there was no way for me to know without that experience.
I'm scared.
I'm scared that I'll never be able to muster up that much effort again because it yielded no long lasting relationship.
I tried as hard as I could and it wasn't enough so why try again?
That's my issue.
I'm trying to employ this thing my mentor told me...don't let your feelings control your feet.
You may not want to do x, y, or z but your feet go on the date.
I can feel myself retreating into the safety of studying, of school, of academics.
I've always relied heavily on friendships and I can see myself never getting away from that even though I do want to be married.
I guess no one has inspired me enough to want to give that much effort.
So maybe its not that I can't but more so that I don't have a reason to.
Yea...I'm going to go with that.
And hope less is sometimes sad.
I want to be hopeful.
But I feel like I used my whole tank of hopeful and now I'm on E.
God, go on ahead and replenish that when I'm ready to handle it. Thanks!
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