Not that great of a picture but its me (dressed the way my Dean prefers)
Dean M talked about how she became a physician after being a nurse and had studied at Columbia encountering bias associated with both being a nurse and one of 4 Black people out of 150. A visiting student from Howard told her she needed to come down after med school and she did just that. She talked about things I think we take for granted: the nurturing, the seeing Black faces everywhere you turn. I know that that's something I don't take for granted because there's no way I'd have the face time with Deans that I have at any other place. For goodness sakes, I went to brunch with an attending mentor today. Howard is insane and lovely and amazing. Its infuriating but I love the mess out of my med school....and I'm committed to making it better.
Dean F...my goodness. Firstly, she was valedictorian of her medical school class. The woman is dumb smart. So she was in something called a pyramid program for surgery. This is how all surgery programs use to be structured which was that they admitted 17 interns to Howard's surgery program and only 6 graduated as chief residents and surgeons.
You want to talk about BRUTAL!?!?!?
When people talk about how tough she is as a person I just want to point them back to the fact that she trained as a surgeon in a program where only 1 in 3 of them actually became a surgeon. AND she got pregnant in her 4th year which is a year before final cuts are made down to the lucky 6 and they still wanted her because she worked her behind off!
That lady......She sees things in me I never saw in myself.
She's incredible and to be honest, I'm better for feeling like I have to impress her.
Dean J got pregnant her first year of residency. Instead of quitting because her husband was an attending ophthalmologist, she spent her entire pay check on a nanny so she could complete her residency. That's dedication. She didn't have a financial incentive to do the work but she loved it. And she's a damn good pediatrician and neonatologist by the way.
They all told these incredible stories but some stick out more than others.
They talked about not shying away from ambition and outsourcing things that can be outsourced so you can actually be a fantastic mother and physician and not a fantastic physician, housekeeper, and cook. I thought that was immensely valuable advice. Moreover, Dean J talked about how important picking a supportive spouse is. She said her and her husband agreed patients over everything and they stick to it. Her patients or his, patients first. And they had many really tough conversations about that stuff early on to make sure that this was going to work.
Dean F talked about imposter syndrome which is something we all suffer from. She went on to discuss wanting to be a dean and being promised a deanship and how it didn't seem to be happening so she started to withdraw. Her husband was like "Ummmm since when have you ever backed off of anything. Go get your stuff girl!" She went on to make the "necessary changes" to become dean. (Let me go ahead and say I call BS. They said my girl was tough but hello PYRAMID surgery residency. She wasn't especially tough....she was necessarily tough and I'd say everyone else was probably just as tough but they had penises -______-)
Never the less she's dean now she she's killing it.
Game. Set. Match. Sr. Associate Dean.
Dean M talked about taking time for yourself which I do all the damn time as this hair won't do itself and I got a girl for these toes. I pride myself on having my toes done at all times so I slide in to see my girl post call or not every two weeks. She talked about how we are going to be judge on appearance post call or not and I can relate.
It took one comment from my mentor for me to change up my entire wardrobe. Dresses in...sweats out.
I gave them a case and Dean F's response was classic her. The case was "You walk in a room and everyone is being addressed as Dr except you. They're calling you by your first name. What do you do?"
Dean F....my my my. She was like "That doesn't happen to me. If you call me Ms. F I'll correct you. Its Dr. F." She went on to say that surgical culture is Dr. at all times and the only people who do that are often patients waking up after she's operated on them and she just gets them right together. She was like its completely disrespectful to address a person you don't know by their first name. She doesn't address folks she really really knows by their first name publicly if they are an MD. I can attest to that because she never calls me Ms. Its Dr. W or my first name.
I appreciate that too because I ain't been a Ms since November 19, 2014 when I successfully defended my PhD. I got PhD bars tattooed on my body so there's no forgetting that one!
Dean M talked about having to take other women aside and say "Now which of these degrees is unclear to you?" because receptionists would call lady docs by their first name and male docs Dr. She nipped that in the bud real quick!
Dean J told this hilarious story...let me set this up right.
So I brought up Dr. Tomika Cross, the OBGYN who was asked to show credentials to prove she was actually a physician on a flight. I asked what they would do in the same situation.
Dean J volunteers "You know my husband is an ophthalmologist but he's the FIRST person volunteering on a flight when they ask for a doctor. So every time, I'm asleep because I sleep on flights and they call for a doctor and he volunteers. Enthusiastically mind you. And he goes and comes back and wakes me up saying
"They need a doctor." and I'm like YOU'RE KIDDING?!?!?! Do you think they needed their cornea inspected or retina reattached!?!!?! Of course they need a doctor and you're not the one they're looking for! And then its always my luck that its a 400 lb man and I'm used to doing chest compressions with my thumbs on someone that weigh 4 lbs but nevertheless I actually know how to help them! I wish he would stop volunteering because they're never looking for him!"
Now mind you this is WAAAAAY funnier in person and partially because Dean F was drinking water when she said the part about her husband coming back saying they need a doctor and she quite literally had to spit said water back in the bottle because she burst out laughing! Mind you this is the same woman they say is tough....but waterworks. She even said after Dean J was finished that "that was funny."
Dean F went on to say she's helped many times throughout her career and never been questioned. The other two carry their medical license in their wallets but Dean F was like nope. I just walk over and help. (Yup, that sounds like my girl!)
I asked Dean F during intermission if I should ask about mansplaining and she was like
"what's that."
I explained that its when a man explains something to you that you already know and she was like
"that happens? That doesn't happen to me."
to which I replied
"of course it doesn't, they probably look and you and go she's good."
She laughed when I said that.
She's amazeballs.
Did I mention she was post call...yup she'd been at work from Thursday morning around 6 am to Friday night at 7:30 pm when we got done, and she'd done a lap appy at 3 am with a total of 37.5 hrs of not leaving the hospital, and then she was going out on a date with her husband to get catfish and a crab bomb. (Yes I did have to ask what a crab bomb is and apparently its a crab cake minus the cakey part.)
I'm working on a plan for how to become her.
Hell, we both kind of are.
I still can't believe she thinks I can have her job one day....much less wants me to have it.
I know Dean F and J way more than most but I still learned so much.
So many take aways about sticking to your guns, getting what you want, making sure your seat at the table is secure, choosing an appropriate spouse for your career goals, actually knowing where you're trying to go and what will actually get you there, making time for these feet and nails, making time for my spouse (hello going on a date after 37.5 hours in the hospital because you've got a marriage to maintain!) and never accepting anything less than Dr. in medical settings.
I also think a lot of people got to see the Dean F I ride for. She's something special. I really want people to see her because she's been amazing for me this year. I wouldn't be so sure of where I'm trying to go and what I want to do without her. I'm sure this picture of us is just the beginning because my jacket will one day say HUH too.
Anyway those were the highlights.
It was a banner evening.
The deans are so so so great.
No comments:
Post a Comment