Inheritance

I was thinking this weekend....
My mentor is a dean.
My mentor's mentor is a dean.
Does that mean my academic inheritance is deanship?

Like whoa..... even that initial line of thought is scary. Can you imagine? I mean I really honestly can't. My life does seem to lend itself to this idea. I wanted to teach....and that's what they did first. And now...they lead.

If it be Thy Will, I'll go.

II Corinthians 11:6

But even if [I am] unskilled in speaking, yet [I am] not [unskilled] in knowledge [I know what I am talking about]; we have made this evident to you in all things.

Really Jesus? There are a few ways I can interpret this.
1. I, Phil, am unskilled but I have or will have the knowledge I need to walk right on into deanship.
2. I, Phil, am unskilled but I have or will have the knowledge, and You God(the We in all of this) are making it evident to me that I will be a dean.

Either way....I smooth clear wasn't looking for this type of confirmation in my life.
Like no. NO.
I was just barely asking myself the question kind of as a joke but now I've got a verse about it?!?!? Ummm.....yea. This is how God does me and I'm just going to let God have His way.

I most definitely am running for a class office though cause apparently leadership is a thing I'm supposed to do.

I basically don't know what to say besides If it be Thy will.

II Corinthians 11:9b

So I kept myself from being burdensome to you in any way, and will continue to keep [myself from being so].

Listen...there's something so powerful about staying in your own business. I mean my God, I just found out I'm going to be a dean apparently in the last verse! I've got plenty of business to attend to. And what I love about God is that because I'm open to Him, I'm constantly hearing about where I'm going to be and what He wants to do with my life and thus being informed about what I need to be doing now. He wants me to be a dean....what does that mean I need to be doing now? He wants me to be a wife....what does that mean I need to be doing now? There are so many areas of my life that I know God has purpose for....that's one thing that grad school teaches you. Keep to yourself, keep your head down, do the work, and one day you''ll be able to show everyone what you've done. I loved that lesson...and I'm trying to exercise it.

II Corinthians 11:11

And why? Because I do not love you [do not have a preference for you, wish you well, and regard your welfare]? God perceives and knows that I do!

If you only knew how profoundly and extraordinarily I love. Ask God about it....apparently He knows!

II Corinthians 11:26-28

Many times on journeys, [exposed to] perils from rivers, perils from bandits, perils from [my own] nation, perils from the Gentiles, perils in the city, perils in the desert places, perils in the sea, perils from those posing as believers [but destitute of Christian knowledge and piety];

27 In toil and hardship, watching often [through sleepless nights], in hunger and thirst, frequently driven to fasting by want, in cold and exposure and lack of clothing.

28 And besides those things that are without, there is the daily [inescapable pressure] of my care and anxiety for all the churches!

 I feel like everyone has seasons like this. My life is marked by situations and circumstances that weren't idea but God used them. Even the most difficult ones, I thank God for now because I see what He did there. I realize that's not an easy place to get to. It took years for a thing that devastated me to be okay in my spirit. 
Years. 
Its a journey. I give myself space to do all that work and God allows me to do it with Him. This relationship continues to blow m mind because He created everything and then tossed that little nugget about inheritance in my head and then fed me a scripture about it?!?! Like there are so many more pressing issues but God saw fit to tell me something today. Honestly I'm still reeling from that. 
When I think about what God says about the church and about marriage, I realize I could choose to let all these things that haven't come to pass give me anxiety.
Life is messy and complicated. God isn't. I'm going to let Him be my strong tower and my refuge.