Practice Round

The coldness of your side of the bed let's me know

its been a while since you lay next to me

but I hear you softly

moaning low ohhhh's and ahhh's 

As I tip toe into our bathroom

passing the landmarks of our relationship

pictures taken

letters written and framed

rings that rest in a dish that says Mrs. and Mrs.

I find you

in all your feminity and womanhood

working through these so called 

practice contractions

You sway gently

holding onto the edge of the bathroom counter

my gorgeous, phenomenal

tiger of a woman

As this wave subsides I catch your eye in the mirror

you offer me a weary smile 

happily resting your weight in my arms as I envelope you

"I love you" I whisper 

brushing back the hairs stuck to your sweating cheek

feel your weight relax even further

another wave building in your belly

My hand pressing inward on hips destined to open

we do this little dance in the bathroom

swaying from side to side

me humming my old stand by

Jesus keep me near the cross

you back to your ohhhh's and ahhh's 

An hour passes and as is the habit that has peppered our nights 

for 5 days now

comes to an end again and its just us two

Your bath water runs quickly

the temperature you like but I find too cold

we sit in tandem

you, ever the little spoon

carrying the baby we'd always hoped to have

not always knowing it would be with each other

My hand on this baby and this woman

this blessing I wasn't sure would come to pass 

but yet I find myself here

in the middle of everything I prayed for

you resting easy

prayers of gratitude slipping from my eyes into the water

Returning to the sheets now cold

I lift your legs and you wilt into our bed

more than half way to sleep

As I walk around our bed I toss a glance towards the wall behind our headboard

pictures of us from the wedding flank a copy of the vows we said

covenant made and kept

just one day at a time

Seeking heat, you slide back across the bed

your body painting itself onto mine

Me welcoming you into me

the space you call home in slumber

knowing that nothing I've ever done merited this favor

this woman

this baby

this life

this marriage 

and yet, this is all mine