In Me, Him

Have you ever asked God why?

I do....I ask why all the time. I don't want to just know what. The what is interesting...sometimes its mind-blowing but the why. The why gets at the motivation of God. I want the whys along with the whats. So get this....I asked God why a few nights ago and got some clarity. I then said "Ok God...show me in your Word" during prayer and I got some verse numbers.

God.
is.
faithful.

That's its. That's the whole story. When you get verses that line up directly with what God has said to you...that's where your feet go. My feelings...they can do whatever they want but when its time for me to say what I know and walk out what I know to be true, He walks with me.

I Corinthians 12:3

Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking under the power and influence of the [Holy] Spirit of God can [ever] say, Jesus be cursed! And no one can [really] say, Jesus is [my] Lord, except by and under the power and influence of the Holy Spirit.

 you When I think about the power and influence of the Holy Spirit, I think about the indwelling. That's what that is in my life. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit is powerful. It keeps me out of trouble and gets me into what God has for me. Sometimes, I'm not thirsty for the Word. Sometimes, I don't feel like writing. The Spirit in me.....needs fresh Word daily. What I've also found is that even when I'm not thinking about it consciously, the Spirit has pressed something on my heart and its often confirmed right there in my daily reading. What I love about God is that I don't really ever have to look hard. When I think back over the last few months of devotionals, I never had to search up a scripture to talk about something that was on my heart. Is always right there in the Word in the next day's reading. I love that even the order in which I've read the Word is Spirit-led. God is so amazing.

I Corinthians 12:5,7

And there are distinctive varieties of service and ministration, but it is the same Lord [Who is served].

But to each one is given the manifestation of the [Holy] Spirit [the evidence, the spiritual illumination of the Spirit] for good and profit

My friends and I talk about how certain things "are not my ministry." I'm acutely aware of this in church circles. I'm just not a greeter. Its not in me, it's not a part of my make up. I just don't want to speak. Now something that's highly technical, like lighting design, that doesn't involve speaking or knowing lots of folks is my move!

I think my ministry is so many different things but I think this blog is one. One day I want to print out all the devotional entries and have them bound. I don't think I'm profoundly insightful but I think this matters. I think how I walk out my relationship with God is interesting to folks or at least that's what I've been told. The writing...its a manifestation of Him on the inside. And I truly pray it is doing who reads it some good.

I Corinthians 12:8

To one is given in and through the [Holy] Spirit [the power to speak] a message of wisdom, and to another [the power to express] a word of knowledge and understanding according to the same [Holy] Spirit;

See? This is what I'm talking about. I think this is me. I wouldn't say I'm wise but I do think I read and comprehend well. That's what the test scores tell me but more than that, when I explain my science to non-scientists and they get it, I've been told that that is a gift. I like food analogies and everyone likes food so I feel like that's accessible. I love the Bible and I don't know what kinds of analogies I make here but I do talk a lot about my life and my feelings and my relationship with Him and I hope that helps someone. I know it helps me. I work out my salvation here. I work out what I believe and know to be true. I'm reminded of who God is every single time I sit down and write this devotional. I endeavor to always tell the truth about what I'm going through because I think it matters. God already knows. And its a muscle I'm working. I'm working out my faith because not only do I believe God for it but I speak about it to y'all. The Word says doing this...understanding and expressing (writing) about God and His Word is a ministry. I think of its as evidence of things not seen.

I Corinthians 12:9

To another [[b]wonder-working] faith by the same [Holy] Spirit, to another the extraordinary powers of healing by the one Spirit;

This stuck out to me because in a few short weeks I'll be learning about healing...not by the Spirit but in some ways it is. If you consider all the things that have to come together for someone to get into medical school: Successful high school graduation, SAT, good college transcripts, Passing Organic AND Physics, MCAT, AMCAS, interviews, acceptance, loans you see that each and every step required something from On High.  It surely did in my life. And let me tell you, I will most definitely be praying for these patients who are under my care because I know a much greater Physician than I'll ever be. I'm just thankful He's working through and in me to care for people too.

I Corinthians 12: 26

And if one member suffers, all the parts [share] the suffering; if one member is honored, all the members [share in] the enjoyment of it

Oh Black people. We do this. We think that one person's behavior is a reflection on us as a whole. Doesn't matter who you are or what your level of education is, we see each other as a reflection of ourselves. You know how I know? All the Black janitors that I met at UNC were so excited for me to get my PhD. These people didn't know me. They just met me in the hall and saw I was a student and struck up a conversation. One guy, the man who worked in the building where confocal was located, actually knew me and he talked so often about how proud I made him. When I think about all the Black people what couldn't get to where I am but wanted to, I'm thrilled that we do this and that y'all can share in my success. Lord knows, that janitor was critical for me more than once when I was locked out!

I think also about this in my marriage. I so hope that others can share in that joy as well. I hope they can see who I am and who she is and what God is calling us to and be excited for us. I'm going to celebrate and I hope they do to. But let me be clear: I don't need you to celebrate to have a party. Me and the wife will party all by ourselves in His will if we need to. Believe that!

I Corinthians 12:28

So God has appointed some in the church [[f]for His own use]: first apostles (special messengers); second prophets (inspired preachers and expounders); third teachers; then wonder-workers; then those with ability to heal the sick; helpers; administrators; [speakers in] different (unknown) tongues 

So we've all got a role to play in the Church. Its so awkward for me to not be serving at church but I've found a place that will probably work: tutoring on Sunday's during one of the services. I can come to my service, tutor, then go home. I love my church and I'm so proud to go there but its a smooth 25 miles down the beltway so getting down there isn't a cake walk. I love that when you think you won't be able to do something, God's like "Don't let people tell you you don't have time for me. I'll make a way." He always does. He's in the way making business!