Love Extravagantly

I believe God.
He stepped out on nothing and created everything by word alone. He spoke and it was. He speaks and it is. I'm so thankful I can rest on the promises of God, which never return void. He said let there be light and it was, it is, and it shall be. His Word endures. The words He's spoken to my heart endure as well. God is.


I Corinthians 13:2

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

God's word says love is the greatest of all commandments. Loving your neighbor as you love yourself is such a profound idea. I'll go right ahead and admit that I pray daily for discernment and wisdom in the way I walk through the world. I'm always seeking Him for how I should act and how I should interpret the actions of others. If y'all haven't figured this out yet, I'm a very reflective person. I think a lot about what I'm doing, what I've done, and how I can do better. Its important to me to try and do better. When I think about my future marriage, the truth of the verse is that being right without being loving isn't good. Neither is being faithful without being loving. I've seen people who were right without being loving in their relationships, and its brutal. I've also see people who were wrong but loving. I love that God isn't saying that knowledge isn't a thing but that knowledge without love isn't valuable. Together...they matter. I'm not even sure how faith can exist without love.

God's got to grow in me the ability to be more loving as well as growing my faith and trust in Him because the greatest blessing He'll ever give me is a wife. I am without a doubt clear about the fact that my marriage will be hard work and the best work I'll ever do. Marriage is modeled after Christ's relationship with the Church and His example required everything. I can't wait to give everything ... with extravagant joy.

I Corinthians 13:4

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

 Love endures. When I think about the love I have for her, it endures but it hasn't always been patient. I'll always love her however, I know I'm not patient. I know that's an area God has to grow in me. I feel like He's using this season to grow patience in me.
Generally speaking, I'm not a jealous person. I don't usually find that to be a characteristic that's a part of my personality. Enter my love: Jealousy ablaze! Its amazing how when your heart turns towards someone you don't want to share them...with anyone. I know that's not cool. God, when you make all of this okay and bring us into the fullness of what you have for us, help my jealousy to simmer into nothing because the truth is she's mine. I'll have her love, her devotion, her loyalty, and her fidelity. I have no reason to be jealous.
Lastly, I'm extremely proud of what I hope to build with her. What God's shown me about my future marriage makes me want to jump on my bed (which I won't do because I like my bed but I have run around the house a time or two!) I know God's calling my marriage to be a beacon, a light to people who didn't know or hadn't conceived of the fact that two women could love each other and God fervently. Help me not to ever get to the point where I think we're better but keep my humble. I'm sure that when we stand in front of the pre-martial classes we will facilitate at our church, I'll be ever so aware of the fact that you took two broken people and made a masterpiece that's only held together by You.

I Corinthians 13:6

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Oh the truth. I love the truth and apparently love is defined as truth as well. The truth you ask?
The truth is I'm in love with her.
The truth is I want the best for her.
The truth is I want her to have joy.
The truth is I want to protect her heart.
The truth is I want to rip her clothes off.
The truth is I want to give her my last name.
The truth is I want babies.

The truth is lots of things but the truth cannot be a lie. One of the things I love about being out to my parents, is that even though they may not acknowledge it, they know the truth. They know I want to marry a woman. They know I want to build a life with a woman. I've also thoroughly enjoyed that freedom as I move about the world. Being able to openly discuss the love God's place on my heart? Priceless. I think the way I'm capable of loving changed when I started to own it. I've got a whole host of photos in my home that actually reflect the attitude of my heart as opposed to pretending I'm not in love with her. I'm at home in my home. I'm also at peace in my heart. The truth lives here.

I Corinthians 13:7

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

I love her without reservation. I say this statement all the time but its not one that I thought was biblical. Again, I was mistaken. Apparently that wording is the Spirit in me talking not me. I don't know about you, but I believe for her. Not in some fantastical way but just diligently, in my prayers, I talk to God about her. When God placed her on my heart as His will for me, I believed after some fairly rigorous confirmation. I just believe.
And you know...I know its not me because me would have walked away long ago. Me would have chucked the deuces. This walk has been far from easy. So many times I've thought about giving up on what He promised me because walking by faith can be crawling through glass on bare hands and knees. Sometimes walking by faith is laying on the ground letting your tears spill into the carpet. Sometimes walking by faith is going against your nature to do something and doing nothing. Hebrews 4:1 comes to mind when I'm not sure the hard work is worth it.  I know there's purpose and that enables my follow through. I know for a fact that the Spirit enables me to continue to walk boldly in the truth God has given me and not to question (too much) but the hope without ceasing.  I've found that when I have peace with something that goes against what I'd like to do, that's God.  I don't know when or how but I know what and I'm going to believe God because the way my faith is set up.... :-)  God is. If He said it, it is.

I Corinthians 13:9,12

For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 
For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

These verses mean something very special to me....one day I'll share. Today I'd like to look at them with fresh eyes.
I only know part of what God's plan is for my marriage. I know only what He's told me. I also know that this thing me and God do...its special. Everyone doesn't hear from Him like I do or as often as I do. I'm open to Him and I don't close myself off to the spirit even when He says things that are hard for me to hear. I need Him. He's the only way I'm going to get where I need to be. I'm not really sure how I got so open but I think I've needed Him so long to provide for my emotional stability that He's my go to.
One of the things God has pressed on my heart is the idea of vision. He's given me vision for things. I always thought I was just a long term goals person but God' shown me "that's me dear, not you. That's me in you." The thing about having vision is that you can see where you'll be but not how you'll get there. I can see where God wants me, but I don't know how or when. The how and the when are God's space to move and blow my mind. The how and the when is where trusting God is something you've got to walk out each and every day.

My last thought about this is the idea of being fully known. The word "fully" matters to me. I've talked about being a 100% person and I want the fullness of what God's promised me. I want to know my wife in ways no one ever has and I want to be known by her. I've only ever shown the full measure of my brokenness to one person. That was the first time I ever felt safe to do so and the only person I've ever done it with. That space...I've got to have it in my marriage and I've got to provide it for her. I think being fully known means so much more than sexual freedom, though it does mean that. I do believe sex is a form of worship and I want to worship like it'll cause the Kingdom of God to manifest in my bedroom. I also want to be able to look at her or be seen by her and communicate as if we've written a dissertation about what we're thinking or feeling. I want to be connected to her so deeply that its palpable. I've tasted this...this palpable connection and its something. I want to do it fully.

I Corinthians 13:11

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.

So....this was an interesting scripture because God was like "That's you." When I asked God why He said "Because it draws you closer to me." The maturity of my relationship with God has grown exponentially since I incorporated the Word in my life more fully. Daily reading will blow your mind. God's got something in there for you. But when I think about what God's promised me, I've always known that I'm the one giving my last name. In the context of my marriage, God gave me vision for it a while back. I've walked out belief for it for a moment. God's shown me that a mature and developed faith is what He wants from me. He wants me to be serious. He wants me to be devoted. He wants a display of love towards my bride that's more Christ like and when I started following His way of loving...my life got easier. When I started doing the work on my knees every night with Him, it changed me.

I Corinthians 13:13

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

With fresh eyes....this looks like instructions. It feels like instructions. In the season I'm walking through in my love life I know I must trust Him. I've got to because what He's doing isn't something I can do. I'm acutely aware of the fact that I'm not able. I also know what I know. I can't walk out something that isn't true. That's the hope piece. My life is changing but I have the same hope. One day she'll say I believe you're God's will for me too.  I will see her when the church doors open, walking down the aisle to join her  life with mine before God and our people. I will burst into tears when we get pregnant and I'll probably let her have her way with the baby names. I will slide my arm around her waist at night, puling her to me. Making love to her will be a reality. <---Hope unswervingly.

Lastly, I endeavor always to love her extravagantly. My displays of love and affection towards her are  proud and tender. I know I don't always get it right but Christ's example of love compels me to try harder, do better, seek His face, apologize, and get back into the ring with her. The love I have for her...yea that's God. And because its God, I think just maybe, she needs a wife who will love her the way I do. Out loud.