Through Pain, Perfected Faith

My boys say I'm all sunshine and rainbows.

I saw I want to walk in my truth.

Yesterday, I told my boss that I like girls. I actually talked to my boss a lot... like 3 hours. She said she kind of figured that out already based on some of the work I told her I'd been involved in diversity wise. Anyway it was a really good conversation. Her kids already know about gay people, they have books about gay families, and when I was on my phone the 4 year old came over and looked at it, I told her that two of my female friends were married to each other and she didn't bat an eye. I love that about kids. 

I also love that my job is one where I can show up exactly as who I am without anyone backlash. Some people say Black people aren't open but I say "that's not my experience."

Anyway....yea I have warm fuzzies about my life and my job. Love wins. 

II Corinthians 7:1

Therefore, since these [great] promises are ours, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates and defiles body and spirit, and bring [our] consecration to completeness in the [reverential] fear of God

God has made some great promises to you. Much like the US says in the constitution, which didn't apply to my people initially, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are guaranteed. The Bible makes much bigger promises about God's thoughts towards us, His plans for us, about life after death if you belong to Him, about who God is and what He's capable of on our behalf. My God has promised so much to be from being my strong tower and my refuge, the lover of my soul, my companion and my friend, my Savior and my Redeemer, my Way Maker and Sustainer. The promises of the Lord from the Word are endless and I think there's something vital about reading them for ourselves. I've come to know Him more deeply because I read the Word the in John 1:1 it says "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God." If you want to know the character of God...its right here for you. 

I've also believed God for some personal promises He's made to me and confirmed through His Word to me. I think in both situations, its important to that my life reflect the promises God has made to me. Things that aren't of God can't persist in my life and its hard for me to let them. It just makes me uncomfortable. I think that's God in me moving me closer to Him by moving me away from things that aren't Him. I also see that its my responsibility to be prepared to walk into what God has for me and that means I've got work to do. The Bible is saying "cleanse ourselves."  That means I've got to do my part. Yes, the Spirit convicts me but I've got to actually walk away from the things that aren't good for me and be ready to receive the things He's promised.

II Corinthians 7:4

 I have great boldness and free and fearless confidence and cheerful courage toward you; my pride in you is great. I am filled [brimful] with the comfort [of it]; with all our tribulation and in spite of it, [I am filled with comfort] I am overflowing with joy.

Jesus is the source of my joy. Even when its hard, even when its trying and arduous and difficult and maddening, I still have joy. My relationship with God keeps me and sustains me in so many way and so many storms. When I think about the boldness with which I've approached God, I know that that is only made possible by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. I know that the Blood covers me and makes me right for relationship with God and through that relationship I am made whole and perfect. My confidence is God comes from the fact that I know that no matter what, His will for me is His best for me AND I've seen Him change the thing I was ambivalent about in my own mind to my heart's desire. I know God to be a game changer.

II Corinthians 7:6

 But God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered us by the arrival of Titus.

I know Him like this. As a comforter, an encourager, a refresher, a cheerleader. I know Him. He is my God.

II Corinthians 7:9-10

Yet I am glad now, not because you were pained, but because you were pained into repentance [and so turned back to God]; for you felt a grief such as God meant you to feel, so that in nothing you might suffer loss through us or harm for what we did.

For godly grief and the pain God is permitted to direct, produce a repentance that leads and contributes to salvation and deliverance from evil, and it never brings regret; but worldly grief (the hopeless sorrow that is characteristic of the pagan world) is deadly [breeding and ending in death].

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever been pained into repenting? Have you ever tried something that smooth clear didn't work and you had to turn right back to Jesus and get it together? 

I have. I have on many occasions. What I love about trying to walk away from God or out of His will is that the consequences of doing so get harder and harder the farther you go and I haven't stayed out there long. It was so hard but it was good for me. It corrected me. It helped me walk an even narrower path. The pain of being without Him is so tremendous that its forced me to stick close. My faith and my ability to seek Him and find Him and consult Him are a direct result of having tried it on my own, getting hurt, and coming back to my refuge and my defense.

Pain has, in many ways, helped my relationship with God. He is, after all, the master Physician.