Admittance

A ticket
a pass
a right to enter
spaces and places
no one had ever been before

Dwelling in the inner most sanctum of who I am
being privy to my feelings as I felt them
identifying my weaknesses
riding the waves of my emotions
treading the paths of tears that fell softly
and violently
skipping with joy
doubling over with laughter
contemplative
serious
much too serious most of the time

You use to come into me
into my person
my heart and mind
laid bare before you
nothing hidden
truth in its rarest
and rawest forms

I offered this to you
on a platter of devotion
garnished with affection
in a sauce made of commitment
With supplication

Dishes filled with hope
charity
protectiveness
vivacious audacity to believe we could have something
weighty
tangible
something that would be strong enough
foundational enough
to hold a promise of forever
a depth of sensuality
that walks hand in hand with everlasting loyalty
were placed before you

But now
nothing remains but a white table cloth
with a drop of this or that
here or there
The doorway now contains a door
The spaces now kept hidden
Places under lock and key
My heart no longer filleted open before you
My desire hidden away
Tucked behind the devotion

An offering can't be pieced apart
And this one was returned unto me void
The space you use to occupy isn't the same
You stand at the door and knock
I stand on the other side
Not knowing if I'll ever open it again