Certain

The one thing I've always been certain of is God.
I've always known Him.
I've always believed in Him.
When I haven't gotten the desires of my heart, I've still believed in Him.

I've struggled in my faith when things I wanted that I thought were inherently good like not getting into medical school last year. Then I wondered if He really wanted me to have the things I wanted or if I was just a chess piece He moved around to do His will. I wondered where the part about the desires of MY heart being met were? However, I still believed. For many years, I've always felt like He could take me any time. I've always felt such freedom in that. (Now I just need to finish medical school, deliver 8,000 babies, train about 200 OB/GYN residents and then I'll be ready. <--Joking but I do believe that OB is me walking into my calling and I've got so much purpose there that it'll be a while before I see my Savior.) I've never been afraid of death because what greater experience is there to worship God in eternity? I've never been happier than in worship.
I love to worship.
Just writing the sentence brought tears to my eyes. 
I'm so grateful for worship.

I'm the kind of Christian that goes to bed clutching their Bible in times of need. Yes I have slept with my Bible.

In light of the Gospel and eternity, my PhD was about one soul. My best friend, a Chinese national, got saved and baptized after simply watching my Christian walk for 5 years. That humbles my heart so much. That some one could see Jesus in me enough to want Him for herself. That is quite literally enough to have made these years worth it. One soul for Christ. The host of angels rejoice over just one and my soul can hardly contain its joy.

 God is so faithful. He's so good. And He wants so much for us.

And yes....I'm still crying. 

Good morning!