I really feel like even though I have a great relationship with God I still need more. I'm still seeking Him. I still need better understanding. I'm not sure of much but I am sure that fasting and prayer are game changers. Absolutely sure.
Psalm 7:11
For the Lord is righteous,
he loves justice;
the upright will see his face.
Again the Lord is reassuring me that if I stay obedient to my faith and the understanding He's brought into my life about Him that I will have the pleasure of worshiping at His feet in heaven. He's also telling me He loves justice. For me the most significant synonym of justice is morality. Sometimes I've felt my morals have been a bit strict. The manner in which I go about things for the sake of my faith sometimes feels old or out dated. No one else I know of is pursuing a romantic relationship pleasing unto God through celibacy. Everyone else is in a situation where they don't have access to intimacy. I want to remain celibate until I am actually in a relationship that can hold the weight of sexual expression and I think that's marriage. I think sex is too powerful a creation from God, meant to bind people together, to be indulged in outside of serious and lasting commitment.
Psalm 12:6
And the words of the Lord are flawless,
like silver purified in a crucible,
like gold[c] refined seven times.
I so needed this word. You know sometimes the Lord drops something in your spirit and you doubt it. Not because you doubt God, but I doubt that I heard clearly. That I'm interpreting correctly. God has dropped unbelievable things on my heart and I've watched them happen. Just this past fall in October I felt like God was telling me Howard was for me. It was the only place that called. I interviewed there and I walked away feeling like God was telling me to "Say yes. Say yes because this is what I have for you" and I didn't quite know what to do with that but I told my mentor. (Me and my mentor, that's a blessing straight from above) I told her and I also told her that I've got ties far far away from Howard and she was like if the process is right with the Lord then that prayer you've been praying and the feeling you've got sound like your answer. God is clear if you'll believe Him and that exercise right there forces me to work that muscle of believing that I do hear clearly and that Lord is really making clear His intentions for me.
Psalm 13:5-6
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
Oh Lord do I trust. So many times my trust in the Lord has been tested and tried. For me the big things are school since its my mind's favorite thing! And every time I've told the Lord where I wanted to go, He's had better. He's had better for me than I could ever have dreamed. I loved Nebraska but that wasn't where I wanted to go. I wanted to go to UNC. And then I got to go to both! I also got to be blessed to see my baby LP grow up into a boy. A boy who knows my voice when I go to his house even if he can't see me (He was supposed to be napping but he came out and asked Shannon if "Lise" was here and yes I swooned!) My relationships with everyone are deeper because I moved back. I also got to spend 4 years with my amazing grad school bestie who is saved, baptized, and married to a Christian! (God did that!) Those are the things I never could have foreseen had I gone to UNC. I also never would have met my college pastor's wife who loves me just the same after coming out to her. That's not the reception I got in North Carolina but this woman who knows how I love the Lord first still loves me. All of that is evidence that what God had for me is better than I can think or imagine. I also found confirmation that I need to be fasting secular music right here. I'd only been doing it 3 days but that 2nd verse is clear as water. I will sing. I will worship. I will continue to be open to God's urging.
Psalm 14:2
The Lord looks down from heaven
on all mankind
to see if there are any who understand,
any who seek God.
Again....seek Him! This reoccurring theme is so encouraging. Seek the Lord. He's looking to see who will seek after Him. You don't have to find Him but he wants to see your earnest plea for a closer relationship. And this....this I'm doing desperately. I need answers God. Inform me.
No comments:
Post a Comment