So much Blacker than I but with skin
the color of carmel
No lighter
The color of milk with a splash of coffee
She wore her Blackness with pride
She believed in it
though her physical manifestation said that there was more than Black there
That cruelty was laced in her ancestry
That someone had taken advantage of power and privilege
That somewhere Whiteness had crept into her beautiful Black heritage
And I
Chocolate but not
Deeply, desperately clinging to all I'd ever know
White
Suburban
looking the part of Black but not totally comfortable there
We clashed
Obviously
Me in all my "modern dancer whose comfortable without clothes" glory
And her teasing me
Comfortable in my body but not my Blackness
Me trying to find a place among the 2nd floor girls
while she appeared to be the coolest of them all 3rd floor style
She baffled me
alluded me
challenged why I wasn't embracing of my Blackness
with nothing but her presence
Nearly a decade later
She still challenges me
But we've come to a place
Where our dislike has grown to love
Our distrust has grown to depth of consciousness
Because she understands me
And I try to understand her
Because complex emotions and feelings and situations that parallel
drew up parallel
She understands the dark places and the weightless
We exist in strange symbiosis
Shameless in our sexuality
Steeped in our commitment
to the loves we have
the loves we long for
Both of us thinkers
but her an activist
A front line girl
While I watch and wait impatiently for this girl
this girl I've grown to love
and watch do things dangerous
because that's the call on her life
to reconnect and reassure me she's safe
She's gone out and made it back
Her ability to reign in who she is
Enables others
Enabled me many years ago
To be Black
And supports me in my femininity
Sexuality
Black Womanhood
forces me out of my comfort zone
and loves me in it
She is like nothing I've ever known
Dressed in nothing
Robed in everything
She steps into the totality of who she is
And she lets me do the same
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