Show Me Something

S I'd read the passage for next week Tuesday last night and I'd already done some research because its a part of the Bible used against SGL folks. Tonight I was laying here and I said to God "Show me something."

I flipped in my Bible with my eyes closed to the glossary and pointed my finger and opened my eyes. I was in Announce and my finger was pointed at II Samuel 1:20.

Now earlier tonight I'd gotten a voicemail from basically my grandmother saying "You are an outstanding member of this family" and I thought to myself "she's not going to think that when she finds our I like girls."  And you know....I felt some kind of way knowing that. I tried to play it off as funny but it really wasn't. Knowing that even though I'm exactly who God made me to be and I'll be walking in His will for me, there will be people who won't be happy about it? That may not affect me knowing what I know but it will affect me.

So let's go back to the Bible. Now I turned to II Samuel 1:20 and read. It took me a few verses to figure out that this is David's eulogy of Saul and Johnathan. Yes.... Johnathan. Johnathan, David's beloved.

Down in II Samuel 1:26 David says "Your love for me was wonderful, passing the love of women."

Tonight's word from God was about two men who loved each other. Its one of the same verses I used to say being gay is okay with God to my family.

He blows my mind. I didn't even realize I needed that and He showed up. He just....He's so much more than I could ever ask for.