Last night someone I usually pray for but not extensively was on my heart. When God does that I'm always acutely aware of the fact that there's a shift coming. Something is moving around, something is changing. I pray for discernment quite often but I usually only pray for it as it pertains to one person. Last night I found that particular request being extended to another. If y'all haven't figured it out yet, my whole MO is to be in the middle of where God wants me to be. That means I do a whole lot of listening. I talk to God a lot but I'd venture to say, I'm opening to hearing just as much as or more so because there are things you can't know less God tell you. I ask all types of questions because I'm definitely curious but also because I've learned a few things about His Will and I want to be in it.
Now there are obvious changes and no so obvious ones but the Lord brought back to my mind this verse I saw and long time ago and was like "Remember what I told you about her?" My mom recently brought up something around this sensitive topic too! The Lord is so faithful and so on time. That which you don't see God doing obviously He's still doing it. You've got to believe Him for the promise. I love it when He shows Himself faithful in other people's lives who I care about because it strengthens my own faith. This thing He's doing, He's being talking to me about it throughout my relationship with this person. Its been that long. Caleb waited 40 years.....was less than a decade? The blink of an eye with God.
The Will of God is an interesting space. What I've watched Him do in my own life is change my mind and make it so that I can be overjoyed about what He has for me. Everything that's His will isn't initially what I want. Can I offer that if you're open to His will, He will bring you into alignment with it in such a way that you can't even understand why you wanted that other thing you wanted? When my mentor came back into my life that's not what I wanted. I hadn't even been praying about that. Why? Because I didn't even think it was possible and when it was starting to be possible I didn't believe it. I was in my feelings heavy. The lessons she'd taught me still rang true in my life, I still loved her deeply, but I didn't necessarily want her back. God had a different idea about that. It took months....of diligence, prodding, prayer, and conversation. Can I tell you He changed my mind about that? Can I tell you that that changed my life? Yes. Yes to both.
The space we're in...its one I never thought we'd be in again but I'm grateful. I'm deeply moved by the fact that God's will WILL come to pass. Why do I say that? Its two fold. 1. I have an awesome mentor who stepped in the gap in Nebraska and 2. Oh so many years ago when all of this started, He told me she was going to be important to me. He told me she was permanent. And then...she wasn't. I didn't think God had lied to me. I knew that wasn't the case but I definitely felt she didn't hold up her end of the bargain. When she wanted to try again, I wasn't about that life. God literally had to be like "Stop sidelining her. She wants back in. Let her back in." Yea it took some faith on my part. Can I tell you I had peace about it? God had grown my relationship with Him to the point where I was able to say yes despite that fact that everything in my humanity wanted to keep saying "no ma'am."
The underlying theme is that I believe what God has for me is His absolute best. That's why I want to know His will. I want what's best for me and I also know that His will is the most peaceful place I've ever been. I know you're exactly where God would have you, doing what He's called you to do? Yea, there's nothing like it.
Romans 14:3-4
Let not him who eats look down on or despise him who abstains, and let not him who abstains criticize and pass judgment on him who eats; for God has accepted andwelcomed him.
4 Who are you to pass judgment on and censure another’s household servant? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he shall stand and be upheld, for the Master (the Lord) is mighty to support him and make him stand.
Oh boy. Let's get this good Word today. So I look at this and it bring me right to personal relationship. My personal relationship with God dictates what I do and how I do it. It informs every facet of my life. But I realize my personal relationship with God isn't like every one else's. I've been through some things that have forced my face to the floor in front of Almighty God. I've walked through some valleys that nothing but the grace of God got me out of. I've also been to the mountain top and seen promised land that I've conquered and some I have yet to possess. My journey is my own. My walk with the Lord is perfecting my faith and my character.
What I love here is that the Bible is saying, before my God I will have to stand alone. What He's convicted me of is what I'll be judged upon. So no, maybe you don't have to abstain sexually or fast pork for a decade but I do. That's what He's convicted me of. That's also what He's empowered me to be capable of doing. This whole chapter is about individuality in relationship to God and it so blesses me because I've wondered often why some people can do certain things without conviction or reservation and I think I'm starting to understand. That's just not where God has called them out yet or they aren't listening. I'm not about that not listening life.
Romans 14:5
One man esteems one day as better than another, while another man esteems all days alike [sacred]. Let everyone be fully convinced (satisfied) in his own mind.
Oh goodness. This is so delicious! I've let the scripture roll around in me for a few days and its just so rich!
Be fully convinced in your own mind. That's big. When you think about permitting certain things or abstaining, you've got to know for yourself. That's where personal relationship comes in. Without it all you've got is the Law and Phil can't keep the law. I just can't. I'm unable. I'd say you are too. I need to do this relationship thing with God because I need His grace. Grace saves me each and every time. He knows exactly where I am in my faith to be able to do what He's asking and to be pushed in areas that I can tolerate. He also knows all the places I need grace for. He knows me more intimately than I know myself. There are things I've prayed for that He didn't grant because He actually knows me. The Lord knows me. He speaks to me. He satisfies my soul.
Romans 14:8
If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or we die, we belong to the Lord.
Y'all know I love belonging. I belong to Christ. He calls me His own. And the way I live my life...it should reflect that. I hope it does. I pray it does. I also think its important to realize that through this pivotal experience, death, the belonging doesn't change. The Word says nothing can separate us from the love of God if you belong to Him. Nothing. Jesus died that death may have no power. I believe everything Jesus did not only because the Bible gives an account but because I can look at my own life and see the things He's still doing. He's the same God y'all. The very same God.
Romans 14:12-13
And so each of us shall give an account of himself [give an answer in reference to judgment] to God.
13 Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother.
All alone, I'm going to have to tell God the why's behind the what I did on earth. He knows of course but I'm still going to have to stand before and tell Him. I'm so grateful to know that the Blood will speak for me in this moment. What I'm struck by currently is the fact that one of my most challenging friends said to me I need to pray for empathy to be more aware of what's going on without having to ask people. I'll go ahead and admit that empathy isn't at the top of my prayer list. Not in any form or fashion. But now I've got a scripture to go with it so clearly God wants me to have another helping of that.
Any who, its so important not to hinder our fellow Christians. And I think the empathy piece of that is to put ourselves in their shoes to better understand how our behavior hinders them. When I think about facing adversity, that's where I know I haven't always been an example. Sometimes I'm downright not interested in what God has for me. I want what I want and I throw a smooth clear tantrum when I don't get it. That's no way to demonstrate what it means to believe in an ALL WISE and ALL KNOWING God. Come one now. Get that together Phil because the flip side of not being a stumbling block is that our own walks can encourage others. I've been told that that's the case. I'm often so embarrassed by it but apparently this thing me and God are doing inspires people. Y'all, I'm just trying to live right but thanks!
Romans 14:14
I know and am convinced (persuaded) as one in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is [forbidden as] essentially unclean (defiled and unholy in itself). But [none the less] it is unclean (defiled and unholy) to anyone who thinks it is unclean.
This verse so clearly speaks to me about my sexuality. I'm convinced its from God. I'm sure its His gift to me. He's told me what He wants to do with me and through me as it pertains to same gender loving marriage and Christian faith. He reminds me even when I get weary that His Will will be accomplished. But the thing about all of it is I believe. I believe my sexuality is holy, set apart, and its exercise will one day be a form of worship. I look at what God is telling me about marriage and I know its pure.
But the thing is....if I didn't believe that it was holy, I wouldn't do it. I would never walk into something I believed to be sin. Not knowingly. Definitely not flippantly. Like....how does that make sense? If you think its bad, don't do it! If you keep doing something that you feel hurts you....STOP! If you're hindered in your relationship with God by your actions, take different action. What you think is sin, is. So stop. Or ask Him to renew your mind.
Romans 14:16
Do not therefore let what seems good to you be considered an evil thing [by someone else]. [In other words, do not give occasion for others to criticize that which is justifiable for you.]
So this has to do for me with the previous. Now I know there are differences of opinion on gay marriage but I also know that one day...one glorious day when I'm in my marriage, no one will be able to say it doesn't glorify God. Well no one who really knows what God getting the glory in marriage actually looks like will. Its the manner in which I walk out my marriage that will make the difference. Its why I've been in preparation so long for it. Lord knows marriage has been on my mind forever. He put it there! I've got books about it for crying out loud!
This is true for all things. Its the manner in which you walk something out that makes the difference. Its sort of like tone. Its not what you say, its how you say it. Walking things out the way God wants us to...that changes hearts and minds. I know changing my perspective to a more Godly one always does wonders for my attitude!
Romans 14:18
He who serves Christ in this way is acceptable and pleasing to God and is approved by men.
I just want Him to say "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You've been faithful over a few things." Its the few things I'm trying to be faithful over. Lord help me, I'm trying. I just want to make Him smile.
Romans 14:21
The right thing is to eat no meat or drink no wine [at all], or [do anything else] if it makes your brother stumble or hurts his conscience or offends or weakens him.
When I tell you walking this out is no easy task? Girl......thinking about it makes me weary but let's grab this truth. The reality of it all is that if what I'm doing isn't helpful to my fellow Christian's walk in faith, I need to stop. I may not be sinning at all but if you perceive it as sin, I need to stop. If you even perceive it as a hinderance, I need to reconsider and probably still stop.
This is mature Christianity.
And I'm not always mature but I sure do strive to be. Any time someone is strong in faith than another person, they've got to consider this idea. I've had to consider it numerous times. I'm not boasting at all because sure as I'm typing this I was on my hands and knees yesterday in tears. (Don't believe the hype y'all.) But I've been told my relationship with Him isn't regular. I don't know...this is just how I roll with God. So because of what I've got going on with God, I've got some responsibility in a myriad of situations not to do certain things because they mess other folk up who aren't in the same place I am. I've got to make sure I'm not making your walk harder with the Lord. My level of accountability is comparable to the depth of my relationship. The more I know Him, the more I've got to check what I'm doing.
Like I said....real mature.
Romans 14:23
But the man who has doubts (misgivings, an uneasy conscience) about eating, and then eats [perhaps because of you], stands condemned [before God], because he is not true to his convictions and he does not act from faith. For whatever does not originate andproceed from faith is sin [whatever is done without a conviction of its approval by God is sinful].
Listen...don't do what I do because you see me doing it. Me and God are doing our thing and its beautiful and lovely and refreshing and all those things for me. But that's for me.
Reconcile it all for yourself. Work our your own salvation. Ask Him. Seek Him. He's waiting to be found. The walking out what God tells you isn't as hard as you think it might be because there's power given where instruction is given. (I'm not saying its easy, I'm saying its peaceful.) You've got to be willing to ask knowing that whatever His answer for you is, its His very best and above all its the absolute truth.
What it comes down to for me is, if God in me doesn't approve then its not for me. I can't do the thing I think is wrong because I wouldn't think that if God wasn't moving my mind in that direction. In the end, this whole thing is about trust. He's asking me constantly "Do you trust me?"
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