2 Years Later, I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder if she still reads my blog...
If she thinks about me
If she knows I still care for her as deeply as ever
That my heart longs for home

Sometimes I wonder if she knows I still pray for her
about her
That I still hear from God about her
That I still whole heartedly believe that we will be together

Sometimes...

And every once and a while
I think about how in the world God's going to do this thing?
How is He going to get the Glory?

How's He going to show her that
I was the conduit for the message
not the author?
I don't have that answer.
Maybe He's already shown her.
Maybe she already knows.

But I do know
God meets you where you are
as you are
and tells you what you need to know
in the way you can receive it.
I know that He's never given me instruction
without the power to walk in it.

These days without her
some of the most trying days of my time here
He's continued to fuel the fire He lit in me
the one that drives me to my knees saying
Bless her and keep her
Shine Your face upon her and give her joy
The fire that always sees the best in her
desires the best for her
and loves her in ways that tell me
love is supernatural
Again a conduit
for His love towards her

So I'm going to run on
Press on
Cry and pray and cry some more

I'm going to believe because every time skepticism sneaks in
Every time "this seems impossible" passes through my mind
When "she's not by my side" tries to become "she'll never be by my side"
He sends me His words
because that's our thing
And simmering just under the surface of that scripture
He always says
Trust me