Ephesians 3:20

The love most of us will have tasted early on was often confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his anger, of not feeling secure enough to communicate our wishes. How logical, then, that we should as grown-ups find ourselves rejecting certain candidates for marriage not because they are wrong but because they are too right — too balanced, mature, understanding and reliable — given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign. 

Choosing whom to commit ourselves to is merely a case of identifying which particular variety of suffering we would most like to sacrifice ourselves for.


Alain Botton

These are from the article "Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person."



I read this and I thought of her.
I thought of all the things I've said I want with her.
I thought of all the different ways I've told her.
Was I too steady? 
Too mature? 
Too vunerable?
Too religious? 
Too open?
Was I too much of exactly what she'd always dreamed someone would offer her?
So much so that she didn't think she deserved it?
Didn't deserve someone she'd described as "already a good wife?"
I've written quite a bit about the idea of deserving lately but can I offer this?
Everyone deserves to have their wildest dreams come true.
Everyone deserved to be loved out loud.
Everyone deserves a phenomenal spouse.
Everyone deserves a dynamic vibrant marriage.
The question isn't do you deserve it.
Its are you audacious?
Are you audacious enough to grab hold of your dream with both hands when reality tells you that you no longer have to sleep to be in your dream?
Are you willing to live a life far beyond what you've even conceived of as possible?

Today, I don't think that. 
I don't think I was too anything.
Here's why: I actually asked God what about me made me good for her.
I asked Him and He said it was those exact things...
love that casts out fear
a vision for marriage
my faith
He's been making me exactly who He wants me to be for her.

I don't know what she thinks. 
She's this person I know so well and yet she remains a mystery. 
But what I do know is I'm right for her in all the ways that matter.
And it is my prayer that one day we can go from silence to conversation, 
conversation to planning, 
and planning to watching from the altar as the church doors open and she's standing on the other side in white. 

Could she marry the wrong person?
Absolutely.
Could she be happy?
Absolutely.
But the friend in me
the lover in me
We pray she won't. 
We hope she won't.
We still believe she won't.
We want more than happiness for her.
She can conceptualize happiness. 
We want her to have what God says she deserves.
We want her to have more than she can see or imagine.