Not Today, but One Day

I know y'all think I don't ever talk to my love but that's actually not true.

I sometimes text the girl I love and we have these superficial ass conversations.

We talk about medicine mostly.

Its both great and it sucks.

I miss her so of course I want to talk to her. But I miss her and I can't talk to her.

I'm in love with someone I can't even be completely honest with. With someone I can't even talk to for real.

Its like driving by your house but you don't actually live there anymore.

I love someone who doesn't love me back the same way.

But she's still the first person I think to text when something pivotal happens.

She's still the person I most want to talk to.

She's the embrace I miss the most.

You know today I was talking about her and our new undergrad asked me if she was my girlfriend.

I said "I'm still praying" about that cause its true.

Its who I am. I can't help but to talk about her.

I'm too proud of her and too into her to act like she doesn't exist when people talk about love.

But I can't talk love to her.

She's with someone else.

So I can't say "hey babe, how was your day?"

I can't approach her in the way that's most natural.

So I don't.

I talk to her about things that are safe: medicine and Beyonce.

And I get to say how I really feel on here.

If you believe what God says, as I do, then one day she'll love me the way I love her.

Today isn't that day.