Rough Huh?

Last night was rough huh?
I told y'all some truths I've never shared with anyone.
I cried off and on for a while until I finally fell asleep but my sweet sweet Jesus...

Weeping may endure BUT Joy!

At church this morning I decided to join the church I've been attending for almost 2 years. When I came up here to check out an apartment, I went to my church with Jerriel and now I'm going to officially be a member!

I'm actually being baptized again next week.

Now the again part is interesting.

I was baptized at 10ish in my mother's home church with my first cousins and my sister. My cousins were leaving for Hawaii because their dad was being stationed there so on their last Sunday on the mainland we all got baptized.
Baptism in the AMEZion church is largely about the parents making a commitment to raise you in a Christian way, bring you to church, and teach you about Jesus. All the speaking parts are responses that the parents give.
I joined the church I'd always gone to when I was in high school. To be honest, I joined because my best friend's childhood best friend was killed and my 17 year old brain said "You don't belong to a church so where would they bury you?!?!?" I joined the church the next Sunday but because I'd gone their all my life they waved all the classes and requirements.

Today's decision had been stirring in my spirit for a while. Like I said, I've been going to Mt. Ennon for two years. I love going there. I love how much I've grown because of my church in my personal relationship with God. I knew February 14, 2015 that I would one day be a member of my church.
I have to be baptized again because in the Baptist tradition, you must be fully submerged. At first I was a little miffed by this because I definitely have always thought I was baptized.

The more I've thought about it though, the more I feel like its a good thing.
This baptism will be about me. It'll be my own personal confession of Christ, not my parents. It'll be me taking responsibility for the faith in a public way.

Also, even though I know that most people don't think about this, the church I was baptized into as a child won't marry me and that is not only hurtful but its not Biblical either.
To be a member of something that won't recognize the most important relationship I'll ever be in? Nah son. I always knew that this fault line between me and the church of my childhood would eventually become too wide to be crossed. I always knew there would be a day when I'd have to belong to an open and affirming church completely and I'm good with that. Its pivotal to me that I have a pastor who believes I have the right to marry within the Christian faith at the church I attend and have my wedding be officiated by a Pastor of the Gospel. That matters to me.

So I'm getting baptized as a Baptist next Sunday!