Jesus Kept Me

God has been so good to me. He's been so faithful in the midst of everything. Even when I was failing the tests He was sending to me, He was still faithful. He still showed me mercy. He still showed me a love I've never known from anywhere else. He's kept on blessing me even though I've never deserved it. Thank you.

Psalm 111:5

He has given food and provision to those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him; He will remember His covenant forever and imprint it

God has made a way out of no way. Then again He made everything out of nothing so I shouldn't be surprised. Not only has He made a way, He's made the best way. His way is the only way I want to want. Even though in my humanity I want things to be a certain way, I know there is a way that is anointed and appointed for me. There's a way that will glorify Him and be the ultimate fulfillment of my heart's most sincere desire that He's made for me. I'm so blessed in this moment to know this but it isn't always easy to walk out my faith when I feel I don't have provision. When I feel myself lacking, I have to remember He's got everything and if I needed it I'd have it. God has made me some promises. He's told me some things. He's placed some truths on my heart and those things I believe by faith. Either you believe God or you don't. I believe God and I believe that what He's said, the things He's put on my heart will be. He doesn't forget what He's said so I need to have faith. If I don't have faith, what is all this for? An exercise in expository writing? I think not!

Psalm 111:9

He has sent redemption to His people; He has commanded His covenant to be forever; holy is His name, inspiring awe, reverence, and godly fear.

God is innately good. Things happen in your life that don't look that way but I know God is. When I ponder all the He's done for humanity, there's no other conclusion. He created us knowing He'd have to give His son. Like what? If I knew beforehand, I 'd have to sacrifice my child to reconcile others who might not ever be in relationship with me? Best believe, my child would be right by my side and y'all would be SOL! God gave everything He had for us. He gave everything for this relationship right here. God knew I'd be sitting on the floor, writing the devotional about His goodness and our relationship and how much I love Him while listening to a song about how able God is. He knew and He wanted this moment so much that He tore the veil. That's my God. He's so worthy. I'm dumbfounded by the nature and character of God.

Psalm 112:8a

Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear

There are so many places in my relationship with God that I feel this way. I'm so secure in the fact that He loves me and He wants what's best for me. I'm certain the marrow of my being, that He's exactly who He says He is. The part I struggle with is will He act on my behalf. If I earnestly seek Him, will He really come through? I realize these things seem incongruent but they reflect much more on who I think I am rather than who I think God is. I know who He is. I also know I'm no worthy. I'll never be worthy. Doesn't the Word say "If I had 1,000 tongues?"  This is true. The idea that such a big God cares about the going ons of my little heart is crazy. I just don't consider myself that important but He does.  And If I know He doesn't lie, then I have to believe that I'm important. He did think that and He will or Jesus wouldn't have died for this relationship. This is when I have to talk to myself and God and let Him tell me who I am. I'm not struggling with fear, I'm struggling with doubt. I'm struggling with feeling like I deserve His consideration. I'm so thankful He meets me in that place and knows exactly who I am.

Psalm 113:5-6

Who is like the Lord our God,
    the One who sits enthroned on high,
6 who stoops down to look
    on the heavens and the earth?

No one. That's who is like the Lord. Not a single solitary soul is like the Lord. God is God. He's up there creating everything that was ever created, and watching this devotional being written. He's up there being the beginning and the end and listening to the prayers of my weary heart. He's up there girded in righteous, forgiving my inequity by seeing me through the blood of His son. God is literally Holy and He's still interested in the perfect effort but ultimately failing product I'm offering Him in my life.  He sees my worship and is pleased even if its not worthy to even be the clouds upon which He steps. God is love and He honors my imperfect way of loving. He tells me He's pleased with my efforts even though I know they aren't enough. He makes me enough. That's who my God is.

Psalm 113:9

He gives childless couples a family,
    gives them joy as the parents of children.

He changes things. God not only can but He does. This verse literally says God does! How powerful is that? There are some many things in my life that I want to see God move in. So many places and spaces that need His divine intervention and its good to remember that God not only can but does. God will. At one point in my life I was childless. I was also single, but I desperately wanted a baby in my life. Along came LP. Tonight I'm keeping my other little munchkin. You talk about a fulfilled prayer? Listen....I've got all the babies and none of them came from my uterus. He makes a way sI I've seen how He can move and maneuver. I know He can. I'm currently believing He will. Its a new level of faith in my life and its scary. Believing God will feels like looking out on the water and stepping out of the boat on faith. The boat was believing God can. That wasn't difficult for me. Getting on the water and walking, literally on faith with my eyes fixed on God and believing what He's told me. Whole 'nother level.

Psalm 115:1

Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to Your name give glory, for Your mercy and loving-kindness and for the sake of Your truth and faithfulness!

If y'all don't know, I'm very careful to give God the glory and the praise. Why? Because I honestly know better. I know better than to believe I've done anything. I know better than to let you tell me it was me. Why? Because nothing bless the Father like acknowledging Him and nothing is a better witness than to see someone else say "Not me...God." I've watched how it settles in other people. How it makes them uncomfortable but I've also watched how slowly but surely, they want to know what that feels like too. They want to not carry the weight of feeling solely responsible for themselves. I know its not all on me. I know its God. Now there's some me required. I definitely studied for the MCAT but He was my focus, my attention, and my dedication. I clicked the buttons but He made it possible for me to get up that morning? Come on Jesus. I've done a few things and been faithful over a couple BUT GOD! He's never left me. He's always there. And He's always worthy.