Withholding Nothing

Yesterday afternoon blessed my soul. It truly did.
And now I'm walking in when its confusing, go simple.
 I'm clear about many things that I have the power to walk out and that's what I'm doing.
So I was on the twitter, relaxing and the very firs thing on my twitter was Lamentations 3 from a friend so I opened up the Bible I'd just closed after my nightly reading and found a nugget of truth I want to write about today. God always sends a ram in the bush.  I wasn't even thinking I was struggling but I love a Word from the Lord that pre-emptive so that when  I do struggle, its right there.

Lamentations 3:25

The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God’s word]

Every day.
Every single day.
I'm living in expectation. Y'all know how I talk about purpose and perfection of faith in the waiting? Here it is again. And you talk about on time? Like I said, I wasn't looking for this but it fell in my lap. God is so good and so faithful to those who seek Him. I find myself on my kneads everyday because I need my time with Him but also because I know that you can't find God if you haven't sought Him. I also know that waiting has a lot to do with God's timing. God can make you a promise any time but waiting on His timing is a faith walk. Sometimes its a faith carry and He's carrying you. What I do know is that trying to get in front of God and make something happen just because He's made you a promise is the wrong move. I don't ever want to be ahead of the spirit. I just want to follow because I know that's good for me even if its hard for me.
And by hard I don't mean "Oh shoot that's difficult."
I mean "I prayed and cried all night long and my eyes are swollen and my bible is wrinkled because I hugged it to my chest while I sobbed and my tears got on it" hard.
I'm talking about "I had to call up all my mentors to get me through this morning" hard.
I'm talking "I just had to show up in her office or on her phone transparent and barely coherent so I could get some help" hard.
I'm talking about "I had to drive 6 hours so I could get around someone who could carry me for a few days because I can't carry myself with any type of sanity" hard.
All of those have been my life. I've thankfully had people God has placed in my life for those moments. So yea....God is good to those who wait and hope but good to us doesn't always mean easy. Sometimes it means the exact opposite but there's provision for that. That's God too.

Lamentations 3:26

It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation (the safety and ease) of the Lord.

So here comes the Lord with ease. Now I'm going to tell you, once your faith muscle gets bigger, ease starts to happen. But that's going to take some work. I'm working on it right now and I think I'll be working on it all my life. That's going to take some trusting and waiting and diligently seeking Him. You've got to know Him for who He is before you can be like "God has that and I'm going to let Him do it" and walk on away. Yet again, the ease is in the Lord. That's true but our humanity makes it hard because we want it now or we want to see something now. God's movements in the spirit aren't ones we can see and we don't have no business there either. I've got to get to a place where I not only feel safety in God for my feelings but also my dreams. Seek ye first and all things not some thing so I have to be sure I'm seeking Him first at all times so all things.... y'all know the rest!

Lamentations 3:27

It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke [of divine disciplinary dealings] in his youth.

Divine disciplinary dealings. Lord have mercy, I'm still a youth and I'm still in this time of bearing the yoke. The reason I need to is so that as I get more and more mature in my relationship with God and more and more people look upon what God and I are doing, I'm demonstrating a level of purified, tried and true faith. The other thing about the youth, is that you're believing God for things that aren't earth shattering. I currently am believing Him for some audacious breakthrough but I'm an old youth because this relationship is old. In a younger place in my relationship, I was believing God for tests and what not and those things built my faith to believe for bigger and more important things. By the time you need to believe God for breakthrough in your child's relationship with God or breakthrough in your mother's health or healing for your mentor, you're in a different faith place because you've walked this path of believing God for bigger and bigger things. You're literally perfecting your faith. I sure am perfecting mine.

Lamentations 3:28

Let him sit alone uncomplaining and keeping silent [in hope], because [God] has laid [the yoke] upon him [for his benefit]

What? Now listen. I'm not in the silent part. I'm just not. But I get it. God has laid a burden upon me. Its not necessarily my place to talk about the things God's promised and that I'm hoping for. God didn't give that word to anyone but me.  One of the reasons I write because I will have a record and for anyone who wants to see how far He's brought me....Here's my journal. I do think working out your faith within you is important because its just vertical: its just me and God in this thing. I love stuff like that. I love my time with Him and how he's making me better each and every day.

Lamentations 3:29

Let him put his mouth in the dust [in abject recognition of his unworthiness]—there may yet be hope.

 I know it ain't me. I know I'm not worthy. I know the only reason I'm even in this relationship is due to the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross which makes me acceptable in the sight of a holy and righteous God. I'm clear that not me, but by Jesus alone. I also see this from the perspective of waiting. There is always hope. There is always possible. God makes all things possible. Probable maybe not but possible is always there. As I sit here in the reality of what God's spoken to my heart, I know there's hope. I also know that things I hoped for have come to pass. I know there's an apartment in Silver Springs waiting on me and there's a seat on Georgia Avenue with my name on it. I'm walking that right on out and anything else He wants to add, I'm game.

Hope isn't always easy. Waiting on a promise from God to come true isn't easy but even more so, not moving on your own to bring your promise into fruition is like putting yourself in a straight jacket. The thing about it is that when you have a testimony about when, when you know its a God thing and not a you thing, it'll bless you all the time. When its a God thing it will be like a well within you where you can go and be refreshed.  Hope is possible and with God, its possible a little easier but it ain't necessarily easy. I get on my knees every night cause I need a fresh dose of His presence, love, and the ability to continue to hope. My hope is in Him.