Thursday, February 5, 2015

Of His Goodness

I decided that for my last big trip of graduate school I was going to Australia. Yup....Down under. The conference I picked was strategic. I wanted to go for my birthday so I found a conference around that time (so my job would pick of the tabs for the flight AND visa to go) and off I went. Let me tell you what God did though! The Hillsong Conference for Hillsong Church was also happening while I was in Sydney. Talk about a win! Now I had some complications getting out to the suburbs for Church but the conference was being held at Olympic Park and I got to go to the evening sessions for free every night. It was such an amazing worship experience. Also....the new Hillsong album was coming out and I was there to hear it performed live. I haven't been in a 17,000 seat arena since but worship with that many people and sending the sweet fragrance of worship up to our God..... once in a lifetime y'all.

Psalm 46:8

Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,

Sometimes we need to take more time to see the splendor of what God has done around us. To think that oxygen is required for humans and God created things as beautiful as rain forests to supply it? Creative much? That He created so many flowers and seasons, rain and sunshine, mountains and plains? Our God is a great and marvelous Father. Not only has he provided for us in each and every way, He did it beautifully. Nothing remind me of how big God is like looking out over creation. Back in Nebraska, I use to go driving into Iowa and I was so amazed by just how BIG everything was. You can see forever and everything is green (depending on the season of course). I'm surprising a nature person....I just want to sleep inside some where nice at night lol.

Psalm 47:4

He chose our inheritance for us, the glory and pride of Jacob, whom He loves.

God has predestined and ordain wonderful things for us. We are His people and He is our God. He wants nothing more than to bless us with everything we desire, however some of the things we desire aren't good for us. He loves us too much to let us go astray even if its something we want desperately. Realizing that is hard place. Its hard to see that some times. Its even harder to feel it. I've walked in those seasons many times and I've questioned God. One of my favorite questions was "So you just want me to do what you want me to do but you don't care about what I want?" <--Yup, bold before the Lord. That's me. I had to work out my salvation and my relationship with Him too. Don't let my writing fool you. It hasn't been easy just because its been worth it. There's nothing wrong with being honest before the Lord, being heartbroken over things that haven't come to pass especially things you feel you've been faithful to pray and fast over. I'm especially reminded of the breakdown of a very significant relationship in my life that went on hiatus for a long while and it was traumatic and devastating. Actually that's happened twice. Both are relationships I cherished and missed deeply.  Once, I realized I was wrong, I apologized, and I learned a very important lesson: Devotion and the fact that you can't do it for them. The other took significant effort and trust building. We so wanted to get it back right but we still struggled because pain is real and not easily forgotten. God loves you even when He tells you no. The no means there's something better but you've got to trust that. 

Psalm 48:3

God has made Himself known in her palaces as a Refuge (a High Tower and a Stronghold).

And when He tells you no, you can still go to Him. He hasn't turned you away. If you can believe it, He's brought you closer. Its taken so much maturation of my relationship with Him and I still don't always get this right but no from God means there's better and maybe you can even find out what that better is if you seek Him more. I've found that going deeper in my relationship with Him after not getting what I want to be the only source of comfort that isn't fleeting. Ironically enough, the other time I've deepened my relationship with Him has been when He's said yes before the yes materialized on earth. You know that thing where God tells you to say yes or move in a certain way and you're like "I feel crazy because nothing indicates that I should be doing this!" That's exactly how I felt after my Howard interview. Even though I knew He was telling me to say yes, my human mind was saying "Howard has to say yes me to before I can say yes to them." That wasn't true though. I sat down with my mentor and we talked about and she was like "No, that's your answer if you've walked this out according to your relationship with God." When I tell you I had to wait for that yes from them despite the fact that I was already saying yes.....there's something in the waiting y'all. Its so hard but its so worth it. Ask Howard. I cried on the phone with them when they told me yes January 15th. Why? Because I'd already said yes to them and because God....Faithful every single time. 

Psalm 48:10

As is Your name, O God, so is Your praise to the ends of the earth; Your right hand is full of righteousness

Let me just say....He's worthy. At no point can you worship too much. At no point can your extoll the Lord for too long, too fervently, or with too much passion. Praise can continually be upon your lips and it won't be enough. Nothing takes me out of my problems and my ego and my stuff like worship. If I want to get out of my own mess, nothing sets me up to do that like thinking and mediating on God. For me its worship music. Get you some good stuff and go right on in!

Psalm 48:14

 For this God is our God forever and ever; He will be our guide [even] until death

He's forever. He's your forever love. He sure is mine. He's the lover of my soul and He's jealous for my heart. Mine? Really mine? Yup... He's possessive of little ol' me and He feels the same way about you. He wants you. He wanted you enough that He was absent from His own child on the cross so that we could have access to Him. He's right there but He's patient. He's going to wait until you seek Him so do it. Try Him. I promise He's faithful. I promise He's never guided me astray. I promise each and every time I've heeded what He's said its been for my good. He's right there y'all. Get you some!

Psalm 49:3

My mouth shall speak wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be understanding

Talk about speaking wisdom. My mentor loves to do this. Not because she's wise but because she knows the Word. She often speaks from the wisdom books in general conversation with other people and it always cracks me up cause they often tell her how wise she is or how her advice was so helpful and we just make eye contact over their head and I usually have to walk away cause I'm chuckling. There's nothing like seeing the Word of God working on people when they don't even realize its Him. I love it. I love that she does that. Now this understanding thing is a harder situation because sometimes logic says "Just do this and this and it'll be fixed" and that's not what people need. Sometimes being the only devout Christian someone knows means extending grace you wouldn't normally extend. Sometimes its means listening to the same thing over and over and having a kind (and often for me biblical) word to say. Fixing a situation and being a friend aren't the same. I endeavored at the beginning of 2014 to be a better friend. My friends seem to like it. 

Psalm 49:12

But man, with all his honor and pomp, does not remain; he is like the beasts that perish.

 Remember, this life ain't it. This is going to pass away and those who believe by faith in Jesus Christ, who is the propitiation for our sins and the sins of the whole world (that was AMEZion all day y'all from the Communion recitation), will be born into new life. All this great stuff we got on Earth, yea that's cute but its not going with you. This is why my relationship with God is so important and I talk about it in settings that aren't religious. Its much more important to have God in my mouth than science at work. Not that I don't need to do my job and talk science sometimes, but faith is life or death.

Psalm 50:2

Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth.

God sits high and looks low. He is perfection. He's just.....listen I loved the verse but I really don't know why. The imagery of the Word is sometimes all I've got. You know what I have something. You know when the sun shines on your while you're driving. I always feel like that's God. I know the sun is shining on all of creation but I also know I'm special to Him. Sometimes I feel like that specific  ray of sun was just for me. Think on it and tell me what you think.

Psalm 50:4

He calls to the heavens above and to the earth, that He may judge His people

No one can judge me but God. <----True statement. But the thing about that is He really is going to judge us. He's really going to look back at all the things we've done and if we haven't been repentant....that's something you're going to have to give an account for and so will I. This reality inspires me. I try and do better, give a more perfect effort because I know. I know judgement is coming. Also, I know that others are just as valuable to God as I am so I need to strive to treat them as such. And you know what? Other people see that. I always say it but I'll say it again: Visibility matters.  
I also know that there's nothing under my power I can do to be perfect and that I need a savior. God knew I couldn't do it too so He sent Jesus. Remember: It is by faith alone that we are saved. 

Psalm 50:14-15

Offer to God the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High,
And call on Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall honor and glorify Me.

A sacrifice. Offer Him a sacrifice. This is something I've walked in a long time. Even though I didn't really know the biblical background, I've been a person who fasts forever. I fast all the time. Fasting is really a way of life for me. The key is it has to be a sacrifice. You can't fast bacon if you don't like bacon. You have to like the thing you're giving up. I'm constantly fasting beef and pork. I like both. I like my steak Medium but closer to medium rare. I like pork of all kinds: sausage, bacon, chops, loin....I like it all. and I've fasting them. Why? Its a sacrifice of thanksgiving. Its also a demonstration of how serious I am about the things I'm praying for when I'm fasting. Currently, I'm fasting some additional things for the same reason. I'm serious. I'm waiting on and seeking God for clarity and for break through. The thing about God is He wants to be sought. He is literally saying CALL ON ME! So do it! I'm always like "Jesus fix it." <---That's a whole prayer and I pray it all the time. God is so faithful to be exactly what you need Him to be. He's so merciful with us and He's going to come through and when He does and unmistakably Him, get your posture together to praise and glorify Him. He literally fixed it and He always will. Call His name cause there's so much power there.
Psalm 50:23
He who brings an offering of praise and thanksgiving honors and glorifies Me; and he who orders his way aright [who prepares the way that I may show him], to him I will demonstrate the salvation of God.
I praise God when He hasn't answered a single prayer. And its not easy but He's worthy. There's a significantly different attitude of worship that comes through when you're waiting of God. There's a "Because you're worthy, not because I got something" and this is good for the maturation of your relationship with Him. God isn't an ATM machine, but He is faithful. Glorify your God in heaven<---that's Bible and that's an attitude that needs to accompany me at all times. I feel like I'm better at it but there's always more opportunities to acknowledge Him in my day to day life. He's continuously demonstrating His loving kindness and manifold and great mercies to us. We gotta do better cause He's literal perfection. 

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