Tragedy

I'm a Kennedy Queen.
That distinction means something to me.
At Hampton, we were all assigned dorms as freshman and its a thing to  rep your dorm. What's special about living in Kennedy is that 1. We are all on full academic scholarships and 2. There are only 35 of us.

Me and some of my queens

Hampton has a long standing tradition of curfew for freshman so essentially, you're locked in your dorm with these girls at 11 pm every single night for most of fall semester.

Now imagine: 35 girls REQUIRED to hang out with each other and who rep their dorm at freshman events. It's a bond. A deep one. One I think is what being in a sorority is supposed to feel like except you actually know these people cause you lived with them for a year.

Kennedy Queen means something to me.
Just like I'm a Hamptonian, I'm a Queen.

And last week, one of our Queens suffered an unmeasurable loss. Her sisters, Zarissa who was pregnant with Zoe and Regina, along with Regina's children, Jordan and Johnathan, and Regina's boyfriend were all killed in a car accident.

Ebony is the only child her parents have earth side now. She lost her nieces and nephews, while her parents lost their grandchildren.

I can't imagine a thing heavier. Not a single one.

Ebony and I aren't especially close but she's a Queen. So I got on the phone and called all the queens I had regular contact with and had them call everyone they talk to too. We managed to raise $575 in 3 days to contribute to the gofundme started by Zarissa's best friends.  In total, over $25,000 was raised to help Ebony's family.

Now starts the hard part. The part where people do stop calling and stop checking in. How do I know?

I've walked this walk before. My roommate from UNC lost both her parents and she actually called me in 12 hours between their passing. It was a turning point in my life. Its the reason I pursued a PhD. Its the catalyst for a depth of relationship with my mentor I didn't think possible. But it also showed me how to watch someone grieve. I went to the double wake and the double funeral for her parents, listened to her eulogize her parents, and talked to her for months afar. I've sat on a bed while someone cried for hours. She told me that it was too big to grieve for both at the same time so she'd pick a parent to cry for every night. I'm stood outside a car while she cried for hours. I told all my teachers my senior year of college that I could have to get in my car and leave at a moment's notice cause she might lose it. I've walked this walk.

And now I'm available, because I'm still in graduate school, to walk this walk again. Whatever she needs. Whenever she needs it. Because that double casket funeral was big. Watching those children become orphans rocked me to my core.
Seeing four white caskets, lined up across the front of a high school auditorium with standing room only.
Hearing a mother wail for her children and grand children.
That's seared into my brain.

So is something else.

Watching a family choose to praise and honor a good and faithful God anyway? To believe God is for them and wants the best from them even in a tragedy such as this? That builds my faith like none other.

Ebony's my fellow Queen and a fellow believer in an Almighty God.
I will walk beside her too.