Love That Never Changes

Have you ever watched the Lord do something you never could have foreseen? He does this to me all the thine. I had no idea that Isaiah talked about God sending an intercessor, an advocate, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, or Jesus much less that they would coincide with The Ecclesiastic calendar. I just knew I was going to be reading Isaiah and it was tough for a while. The early part of this book is a lot of prophecies wherein the people have angered God and He's coming with Holy wrath. As the book progresses, God talks about how His purpose for humanity won't be fulfilled if He doesn't make a way to reconcile His people to Himself. I've so enjoyed watching God's thought process and I've learned so much about how I can't. I'm not able. Even in the little things, I'm in need of His grace and His direction. In the big things,  forget it. Let me just rest my spirit and He'll make His will come to pass.

Isaiah 60:2

For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and dense darkness [all] peoples, but the Lord shall arise upon you [O Jerusalem], and His glory shall be seen on you

Sometimes I think its so strange that people see God through me. I know that we are supposed to be alight unto the world but I often don't feel like one. I know exactly where I am not in my walk and I know I fall so short of what God has called me to so often. I know that I'm not worthy to be used for the Kingdom but what I also know is that God will use anyone for anything He pleases. He will qualify me to do His work and even when I'm not perfect there's grace. I love grace. Its why of all the things I could have gotten tattooed on my person I got that word. Grace. Its such a profound git from above because it acknowledges my shortcomings and then fills in the rest. It also let exist without guilt about the fact that I'll never actually hit the mark. Grace makes my perfect effort enough. 

Isaiah 60:15

Whereas you have been forsaken and hated, so that no man passed through you, I will make you [Jerusalem] an eternal glory, a joy from age to age.

When the Bible talks about things like age to age or children, I'm always thinking of my future. In this situation I'm also thinking about my current. What I love about what God is going to do is that He's preparing me. He's setting up and has set up in me a practice that allows me to withstand whatever's going on but also a practice I can pass down. I can't wait to have my kids come to me and Mommy's room to read in the Bible at night and pray with them and for them. I want them to see me and my wife discussing the Bible, agreeing and disagreeing on passages, and praying hand in hand. This thing God's done over the last two months has been so amazing for both my relationship with Christ and my relationships with other people. I can't wait to see what He does next.

Isaiah 60:19

The sun shall no more be your light by day, nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you, but the Lord shall be to you an everlasting light, and your God your glory and your beauty. 

Can I offer that worship can light up your life? Worship, especially sacrificial worship, brings such light into my life. When I talk about sacrificial worship, I'm talking about when I don't want to seek Him. When I don't want to be bothered. When I don't want to believe. Now, I always believe but I can't always see what, why, or how I'm going to get out of whatever I'm in and in that situation, I don't want to worship. I don't want to talk about the goodness and mercy of God because I'm not currently experiencing what I perceive to be that. On good days, I recognize that it was my perception not reality that was the problem but every day isn't good. A lot of days aren't good. I've found the worshiping anyway can be so therapeutic because it forces me to change my point of view. And even when I don't, it at least exposes me to truth over and over again. I also know that God honors a sacrifice. He's known when it took everything in me to play "I am what you see" in the morning instead of turning on Netflix and laying on my back all day. He knew exactly how hard that was and even though I was trying to shake Him off, He was right there. Sacrificial worship....its a thing. 

Isaiah 60:21

Your people also shall all be [uncompromisingly and consistently] righteous; they shall possess the land forever, the branch of My planting, the work of My hands, that I may be glorified.

My people shall....ummmm is this about my kids again. Okay lets go with that. I have this vision of my kid, maybe 17 or 18, coming into mine and Mommy's room with their Bible open and underlined asking us what we think if this passage. It brings tears to my eyes now and I don't have a single kid. Jesus! I'll know I've done something right when this happens.When my kid trusts the Jesus in me enough to ask me and his Mom about the Word and to openly discuss it? Listen, my work will be almost done at that point. (Yes, I just wiped a tear off my face...and?) That's something God will have given me grace to plant in them. A desire after His Word and His voice? To understand what He's telling them? That's possessing the land forever. My legacy will be a bunch of kids who seek Him first. I know He's planted the Word in me and they will be a branch off of what He's planted in me. Lord, help me to be the example I need to be and give me grace when I'm not. 

Isaiah 61:3

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

This is a hard passage. Its also true. He can do these things. He will do them. I think there's a process. Though I don't doubt that God could do these things instantly, I've never seen it. What I have seen, what I've experienced, is that He'll walk you through that. He'll walk with you through that. At every turn, He's been there with me. And for me, I'd tinker with the crown but still decide to go back to ashes. I might have wanted joy but I didn't accept it. I praised sacrificially but I still kept the spirit of despair. Not because I didn't want those things but because I wasn't ready. It was a process. I spent a lot of time praying, fasting, seeking, and not doing any of that. I wandered quite a bit. I let a few people in, I let some people help me, but I honestly had to walk that out. It wasn't easy at all. Can I offer that being patient with yourself in that is one of the kindest things you can do? It was for me. I may have wanted it to be different but it wasn't so I needed to let myself feel that before I could feel anything else. I had to actively relearn and though it might not have seemed to be active at all, I was doing mountains of emotional work. Be kind, you need it.

Isaiah 61:7

Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonorand reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.

Well God, thanks for telling me you're going to bless my family. I know that isn't just for me and the wife and kids but also the family I've chosen as well as the family I was born into. Even though I can't see how you're going to accomplish all of this I know its done. Not knowing how He's going to do it requires trust and trust requires vulnerability. What I've found about God is that when I offer Him my innermost and my best, He's always so gentle with me. He's so profoundly tender towards me. I still remember the first time I started fasting and praying about her and I was a little scared and He was like "Yea, I know. I know you love her." I was like "Excuse me....oh we're doing that?................... Ok yes I love her." He only required that first step and He opened that up for all types of conversation. I'm so grateful that He's so good to me.

Isaiah 61:10

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. 

The reception of the garments of salvation was celebrated yesterday. Good Friday paid the price for my salvation and made it possible that through the Blood of Jesus, I could be seen as righteous. My soul is so grateful for His sacrifice. Without it, nothing. With it, everything.