Worth.
Yesterday I had a few conversations about that. Knowing your worth is so vital to living a life you love. When I had no idea how valuable I was, I'd let people do things to me or be certain ways around me AND I'd let their opinions of me affect me that weren't honoring who I am. I was looking externally for validation. Now sometimes, that worked but often times I ended up without. Two things happened to change this.
1. I got a radical view of who I am from God. Who He thinks I am, what He's calling me to be, and His overwhelming love for me.
2. Other people, who I trust, told me who I am until I could tell myself.
So the piece about God is that you have to be open to hearing Him. You have to be receptive and for me that means I have to fast. I've got to have gospel music only and be seeking Him. Its not that I can't hear Him any other time, I just hear easier when I'm fasting. The piece about other people...its a hard one but just test people out. There are folks who's Jesus agrees with mine and those who don't. If someone shows you they aren't safe, don't go back there. Another thing I learned from someone I trust, is stop listening to everyone. God will send you your people. That's who He wants you to hear from. Also STOP talking to folk after you've heard from God. God is it. That's the final word.
Romans 7:4
Likewise, my brethren, you have undergone death as to the Law through the [crucified] body of Christ, so that now you may belong to Another, to Him Who was raised from the dead in order that we may bear fruit for God.
We belong to Him. Belonging is a powerful concept. Think about the last time someone claimed you. I know the other day my mentor was on the phone as she said "one of my PhD graduate students." The central part of that statement is "my." I want to be her student. Not just any student, but hers. That's important in my field and moreover its important to me. The young lady I mentor literally introduces herself to people in my circle as "Phil's undergrad." That's big. She wants people to know she belongs to me. Actually I was floored the first time she said that because I had no idea she wanted to belong like that. From then on out I've validated that because I know how good it feels to have my mentor claim me.
Now make that big enough to matter for real and I think about want Jesus saying "that's my beloved." I use that phrase all the time. I think it matters to say as Beyonce said "Mine." God says that about us. He says it to me. He's jealous for my heart. Like...He's after me. I know it. I can feel it. When I'm not giving Him the kind of time He wants, I feel that possessive thing in my relationship with Him. He's very intentional in the Word to say "I died for you. You're mine if you want to be." I want to be. I want to belong...and I do.
Romans 7:6
But now we are discharged from the Law and have terminated all intercourse with it, having died to what once restrained and held us captive. So now we serve not under [obedience to] the old code of written regulations, but [under obedience to the promptings] of the Spirit in newness [of life
COME ON SCRIPTURE! Having died once to what restrained and held us captive? Listen....if you haven't read the law, read it. There is no way....no Black way we could have done it. Actually let me speak for myself.
Phil could not.
Would not.
Shan't.
Can't.
Nope!
What I love here is that this verse literally releases us from the law. It clearly states that. It also states that we are to serve under the Spirit. The Spirit is such a gift. The Spirit is so forgiving, understanding, just, and benevolent. When I'm wrong (read: all the time) He's got grace for that. Grace that I'll never deserve. Grace that is more than I'll ever comprehend. I know I say grace a lot but what I mean is favor I have no right to. Moreover, the Spirit ever present. You know that thing you feel like "Do this, don't do that" or "say this" or "send this text message"? That's the Spirit for me. He's constantly giving me slight adjustments and sometimes huge ones to get me where He wants me to be. The critical piece there is being able to discern the Spirit and also being obedient in that. Obedience doesn't always look the way others would assume. It also doesn't always mean doing what others will like. I know it can look awkward to those around you, but can I challenge you to trust Him in that space anyway? I have and its been nothing but awesome. Its led me in some ways I've never expected and brought forth fruit I never expected to see much less produce.
Romans 7:15
For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled, bewildered]. I do not practice oraccomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe [[b]which my moral instinct condemns].
When I tell y'all I'm wrong all the time. I endeavor to be helpful and I'm being pushy. I endeavor to display that I care and I'm annoying people. There are big things too. I endeavor to tell the truth, and it hurts people. I don't want to sin, but I do....constantly. <----Why I need grace and forgiveness. I need mercy every morning like I need a biscuit...okay more than I need a biscuit but y'all know I'm greedy. I want to be right so badly and I do try and give a perfect effort but I'm not right a lot. What I do love about my relationship with God is that some of the things I would have done, I don't do any more because they just seem downright foreign to me. There are certain things that are like "Why? Why would I do that?" That's Him changing me. I love getting to those places. I love seeing that in myself. I'm never going to be as good as I want to be but I'll never be as awful as I was. Also...grace.
Romans 7:18-19
For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. [I have the intention and urge to do what is right, but no power to carry it out.]
For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds that I do not desire to do are what I am [ever] doing.
I'm always telling folk that want to ascribe things to me that "Nope....not I. Never me. Girl. no" because I know. I know me. I've very aware of my failings. I'm also aware of the fact that when I try and do right, it doesn't always come out right. Thankfully, He can use it and me to accomplish His will despite my humanity. I try and be careful to give credit where its due. Just like I had to cite all those people in my dissertation, I cite God constantly.
I like to say I know God for myself. Well I know me for myself too. And girl....if you've gotten anything from me of value, that was the Spirit through me. Him...not me. We clear?
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