Isaiah 54:1
Sing, O barren one, you who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who did not travail with child! For the [spiritual] children of the desolate one will be more than the children of the married wife, says the Lord.
My mentor and I haven't always had the best relationship but can I offer that the years we spent apart grew our relationship as well? It did. Being away from her brought me into a level of relationship with God that I never could have had with her. Most people rely on the prayers of their mothers and grandmothers but I leaned heavily on the prayers of AV. I bring her up because she's this woman. She has no biological kids but she has kids. I'm one. I think one of the biggest things about having kids is whether or not they see your contributions to their life as life changing or affirming. I was super nervous about coming out to her but her response was "and..." For a kid who is afraid of telling someone they admire, love, and respect a truth about themselves that often gets rejected out of hand, that response was the best I could have ever had. I couldn't have dreamed up a better response. Later on she said "your question wasn't about being gay, it was about how other people would feel about it. I know your process. You've already been to God and you know this to be the truth from God, so the gay part isn't the question." Talk about floored. Can I offer that God is better than that with everything? He is. Whatever you're bringing He's got that. Lord knows I needed Him last night and He was right there. Even though I voiced my doubt, He was faithful.
Isaiah 54:8-9
In a little burst of wrath I hid My face from you for a moment, but with age-enduring loveand kindness I will have compassion and mercy on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer.
For this is like the days of Noah to Me; as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I will not be angry with you or rebuke you.
Though I know we aren't living in the time before Christ's sacrifice on the cross, I have definitely felt this way about God. I've definitely felt like He was hiding from me. When I was younger in my faith, I felt like a pawn. I thought "God will use me as He wishes with no regard for the things I want or ask for." Can I offer that the prayers I was praying them weren't the desires of my heart but the desires I was taught to have? They were and God was faithful then. Faithful to not answer prayers that weren't sincere. I really meant them but they weren't what I really wanted. When I think about the things He's laid on my heart since that time, I know there's no way I could have ever been happy with the things I was praying for then BUT that didn't prevent me in the moment from feeling forsaken. Even then I knew what I wanted but I didn't have the words to articulate it.
I need to encourage myself in this moment. Just because God isn't doing the thing He promised you right now doesn't mean He won't. There are so many things I'm waiting for from Him, spoken and unspoken, but I know my help is on the way. His timing is perfect even when its not mine. <----Hard truth. The waiting isn't easy and sometimes I don't want to experience the growing of my faith. Sometimes I just want the thing you said I was going to have. I know that even when I don't think He's doing what I want that doesn't mean He 1. Isn't doing it or 2. It isn't coming to pass. Faith is believing Him when you can't see what He's saying. And I know He loves me. That's why He didn't answer those prior prayers because He actually wants the best for me. That was mercy. Mercy was not giving me what I wanted because even though I thought I wanted it, I didn't in the core of who I am. He knows me better than I know myself. Let me rest in the reality.
Isaiah 54:10
For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace andcompleteness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you.
His love and kindness are never far. I can't say that for myself. I wish I could but it wouldn't be true. I've said some things and done some things to people I love deeply that weren't loving or kind. I have a really hard time not taking things personally that other people are doing. I often feel that they are a reflection of what they think of me or what they think I deserve. Because I often try and love people like Jesus did and that isn't always another person's operating mode, I often get hurt. Thankfully I've grown to a place where I don't feel taken advantage of. That use to bring about the petty and the cruel in me something fierce. Nothing use to wind me up like feeling taken advantage of. People know I'm giving to a fault so for them to use that in me to get what they want and then cast me aside like I didn't have feelings? Ohhhhhhhhh no. Nope. That was the best way to see the worst in me. Can I offer that even though Jesus died for us, He doesn't see what we do and take it personally? God's grace is sufficient. It endures. Mine doesn't. God's does. He always has more compassion and more mercy and more grace for us. I'm so grateful to serve a God who doesn't take my sin personally but made a way for us to be together and in intimate relationship despite that.
Isaiah 54:15a
Behold, they may gather together and stir up strife, but it is not from Me.
LISTEN!!!!!! When I saw this verse iHollered. Why? Because my mentor says this to me all the time. Her version is "God is not a God of confusion." If you're confused, that ain't God. I had no idea this was Bible but it clearly is! I thought She'd reasoned that but nope. Its right there! Its amazing how that manifests in my life. I'm floored by the fact that I can be completely clear about a thing and when its not time for that thing, I'm completely baffled by it. I think about my research in this. If I had started looking into the affects of my particles on adhesion before I saw that they were cytotoxic the most important finding my dissertation wouldn't be there. I was absolutely sure it affected adhesion but I didn't need to really look into why or how until I knew that I could kill the cells. The same is true for me in lots of other places. I may have some information, especially from above, but when it doesn't fit yet I just need to hold on. He'll even make it so it doesn't confuse me or He take it away. God is not a God of confusion. <----Changed my life.
Isaiah 54:17
But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord.
Nothing that comes against those who belong to Him can win. God's already got the victory. To be honest, the fight was never fair. Creator of all things versus a creation aka the devil? No fair. But regardless, I love this verse. There are so many songs written and song about this verse but I like the part that isn't often in the song. Every tongue that shall judge you shall be shown to be wrong? Come THROUGH! When I think about the type of marriage the Lord has called me to, one that most of the adults in my life probably don't believe in, I think about this. I'm so blessed to know that my marriage will be a testimony about who God is and what love really means. For all of those people who have misgivings or misconceptions of same gender love, I know God is going to show them a new thing. I humbled to be a part of any of that. God's going to show up and show out in my marriage and I can't wait!<---That's what the second part means about this is the righteousness they obtain from Me. He's going to make whatever He does a demonstration of who He is and our relationship. Listen....don't get me excited. He's faithful. I'm thrilled to know Him and to be called His own.
Isaiah 55:1
Wait and listen, everyone who is thirsty! Come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Yes, come, buy [priceless, spiritual] wine and milk without money and without price [simply for the self-surrender that accepts the blessing].
Salvation is free. Well, its free to us. It cost Jesus His life but His blood was shed for us. He offered Himself as a full, perfect, and sufficient sacrifice. Salvation is there for you. Can I offer that even though its free it still has a price? Not salvation per say but relationship. Relationship is expensive. Every relationship I'm in costs me something. With other humans, its time and money usually. In deeper relationships it can cost as much as forsaking all others. With God, its like that too. Its a forsaking all, I will follow you situation. That's costly. Seek ye first the kingdom and all things ain't a cake walk. Its hard to see how simply seeking God will get you all the things you want and you can't do that without sincerity. You've got to truly do it. That's not easy nor free. It requires sacrifice. Can I tell you its worth it? It absolutely is.
Isaiah 55:3
Incline your ear [submit and consent to the divine will] and come to Me; hear, and your soul will revive; and I will make an everlasting covenant or league with you, even the sure mercy (kindness, goodwill, and compassion) promised to David.
I love the Amplified Bible. Its actually the Bible I read which is why I often use it on here. I love it because it expounds on things. I need more words. Anyone who knows me knows I love words. There's something palpable about words. Something weighty about them. I write a lot....not just on here but in my life. What I love in the amplified is that incline your ear isn't just listening. I like that it goes a step further and says submit and consent to the divine will. I've found that listening to God's will won't get you far if you don't do it. I'm not always interested in God's will. I truly am not. Especially when it isn't what I want, God's will is far from what I want to do. Can I offer that every time I've been obedient, He's been faithful? He has. He always will be.
The hearing is an important first step though. Before I'd heard God's voice I always thought it would be hard to distinguish from all the other noise and it is. It is if you aren't listening but He's diligent. God never tells me anything just once. And I've found that when He speaks, it plants something in my spirit that grows without any assistance from me. I don't have to put any effort towards what God tells me for it to be anchored in who I am. The God in me recognizes God immediately and puts that seed exactly where it needs to go to grow. I love that.
Isaiah 55:6
Seek, inquire for, and require the Lord while He may be found [claiming Him by necessity and by right]; call upon Him while He is near.
This is how my prayers get long. You ever get on your knees like I'm just going to pray this little prayer and move on and He shows up out of no where heavy? I mean tears and snot and all. That's when I stay on my knees. That happened the other night and I started crying out of no where. NO WHERE! The truth of the cross gets me when I least expect it. Things I wasn't even thinking of praying for before I get on my knees often come out of my mouth. Sometimes I don't realize how heavy certain things are weighing on my heart until I hear them in my prayers. He gets a level of honesty out of me that I didn't even know was there.
Isaiah 55:8-9
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.
This is so hard. This is such a hard truth. Hard y'all. I tend to think of myself has being fairly intelligent so when I reason through something and consider various possibilities and things that seem likely, I'm often completely confounded by God. Like....How can God tell me two different things in two different places are His will for me? How is that going to work? Where do they do that at? Well Phil, they do that above your comprehension that's where. The fact that I know so much tells me just how little I actually know. This is one of those things that's very difficult for the very intelligent. It's just not easy to be smart and look at something that doesn't look possible and say possible. It goes against everything in my mind to say certain things are possible but I believe God. I also know that this verse is so very true. I could never have seen that going to Nebraska would lead me back to North Carolina but it did. Let me rest my pretty little human mind and let God be God.
Isaiah 55:11
So shall My word be that goes forth out of My mouth: it shall not return to Me void [without producing any effect, useless], but it shall accomplish that which I please andpurpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
And this right here is what I needed. I needed this scripture. The truth of God is that whatever He says is true. I didn't know it was in Isaiah that this was said but here it is. Right here in black and white. God's faithful. His words shall accomplish that which I please and purpose. Can I offer that if He's given you a promise and told you how amazing its going to be, its because its true? I believe that so deeply on the good days and on the not so good days... I hold fast to the Word and He gives me grace in my doubt. He's amazing.
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