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Romans 12:1

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

A living sacrifice. You know I thought I was doing this for a long time. I thought that I was doing this with my sexual expression. I was very boastful about my celibacy. I definitely thought I was "holier" than other people because I could avoid such temptation even if I didn't say it out loud. Oh.....can I tell you that something you don't want is not in fact temptation? Because it ain't! I'm not making a sacrifice by not eating olives. I don't like olives. That's not a sacrifice. Much in the same vein, abstaining for sexual behavior with men wasn't a sacrifice. It wasn't something I wanted but because it was something other people couldn't seem to stop doing I thought very highly of myself. Can I tell you God will fix you if you're in that space? He sure fixed my cute little attitude that wasn't so cute. When I actually figured out what sexuality is all about....yea that's exactly when I learned about what celibacy actually is. And celibacy....is no game. Not at all.

The thing about making a sacrifice unto God is that it has to cost you something. If it doesn't cost you something, its not a sacrifice. I've made many sacrifices in my life for God but this one I'm currently walking in is so much difference because it actually requires me to lean on Him. I've got to seek Him because the human in me isn't really about this celibacy life. This can be true in different parts of your life but for me, its sexual expression. I am now making a sacrifice to God, that He's told me He wants, but nonetheless I have to walk that out. Its a much different mental space. Its a space of great vulnerability and humility cause when I tell you I need Him...I'm for real. I also know He's got me waiting because He's built me for 100%. He's built me for long term abiding intimacy.

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Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

So....let me tell you about this verse in my life. Um....yea. So listen...I consider the way I approach love to be a renewing of the mind. Instead of letting culture tell me what same gender loving folks do, I do what the Word says is pleasing and appropriate. I'm chasing after God because He said All things. I know what I'm doing is a demonstration that other people haven't ever seen because they tell me so. Chasing after God while being in love with a woman you're praying and fasting for and believing for? Yea that's not your garden variety homosexuality. That's not your garden variety heterosexuality. That's a new thing. Its a new ideal and a new attitude.

On so many levels, God has impressed upon me the fact that He wants my life to be an example of His blessing and His grace and love towards same gender loving folks. As such, I've got so much work to do. He's told me where I'm going to be and given me a heart to do things like work in marriage ministry but I've got to get to a place in my relationship with Him, my relationship with my future wife, and our relationship with God to do that. Currently...He's got me working on this me and Him thing and praying about her and Him. That's where I'm at. And that's a daily activity. If He wants to make an example of me, I've got to get as close to Him as I can because there is no way Phil can do this under her own power. No way.

Romans 12:7-8

He whose gift is] practical service, let him give himself to serving; he who teaches, to his teaching;

He who exhorts (encourages), to his exhortation; he who contributes, let him do it in simplicity and liberality; he who gives aid and superintends, with zeal and singleness of mind; he who does acts of mercy, with genuine cheerfulness and joyful eagerness.

So the Bible clearly says each is given gifts. Sometimes a person's gifts make no sense to you. If you're not a server, then you're not. I happen to be. I'm really good at completing tasks. What I love here is that the Word says contribute out of what you're good at not out of what someone else wants. This reminds me of the love languages. If you're not a gift giver, don't feel bad if you're with someone who is. That's just not your gift. If you're a time person and your contribution is time, value that. Everyone can't do the time thing. Be excited about what God's given you because I promise, someone is looking for that thing you're giving. Someone needs it. 

Romans 12:12-13

Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer.

Contribute to the needs of God’s people [sharing in the necessities of the saints]; pursue the practice of hospitality.

So verse 12 is asking for a whole lot. Lets unpack this. Be happy in your hopefulness. That's a good one. Why? Because how can you continue to hope in sadness? I'm hoping for lots of things and the prospect of God bringing them to pass brings about joy in my spirit. My God is seriously big enough and loves me enough to give me the things I love if I love Him earnestly? Yea....you better believe I'm happy. 

Now this middle portion is a ride. Be steadfast and patient in suffering<---not trivial. I've suffered and had tribulations and that steadfast thing is so hard. I love patterns so I developed some around suffering. I start my day with gospel...Gospel that tells me things I need to hear. I wouldn't characterize that as steadfast but I guess it was. Patient in suffering? Yea I wasn't about that life either. Can I tell you that nothing happened faster because I wanted it too? I didn't heal faster, I didn't move on faster, I wasn't happier faster just because I was impatient with God. Nope...not at all. The other thing about that is that there's purpose in the process. When I look down at the scars that litter my body and my spirit I know that I needed to have each and every one to be the person writing this blog right now. To have an attitude of gratitude, I needed to walk this thing out. 

The idea of continuous prayer isn't one that require you to get on your knees all the time. When I tell you I call on Jesus with great regularity, I tell you no lie. Can I also tell you that "Jesus" is a whole prayer. A complete one and I pray it often. I love a good knee bent prayer but sometimes I've got to offer a prayer in the car and keep it pushing. 

Lastly do what you can for the people you know belong to you and to whom you belong. I try really hard to be the kind of person I'd want to be friends with. I'm also southern so there's some culture mixed in there but mostly, I just want to help you if I have something you can use. I just want God to use me however He needs too because I know it'll bless me and give Him glory. If my living brings Him glory, it hasn't been in vain.

Romans 12:14

 Bless those who persecute you [who are cruel in their attitude toward you]; bless and do not curse them.

 Honesty moment: I fail at this a lot. I use a lot of foul language. I love a good cuss word. Love them! I use them not to hurt people but for emphasis. I don't call folks out their names or cuss them out. Why? I'm so astounded that you've been mean to me that I generally never have a good come back. I just don't. Maybe that's God because I'm just not quick witted enough to snap back. I'm smart...not quick witted. 

Romans 12:15

 Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].

This one right here is a part of my life all the time as a mentor. When my mentee is happy, everyone is happy. When she's not, and its academic I've got to be about the business of fixing it but I also have to be sympathetic and empathetic. I haven't always been capable of this but its something I'm more and more able to do because I see it modeled constantly. One of the big things we do in diversity work is affirm. We are constantly lauding people for their accomplishments from paying off credit cards to staying sane in graduate school. Its not all about passing exams and defending dissertations. Sometimes its enough that you're still smiling at the end of your first semester of graduate education. Yea...I'm learning to celebrate with others and over them. My own mentor models it beautifully. 

The flip side of that is sharing the burden of grief that some have. Its not nearly as fun but can I offer that it helps you exercise parts of yourself that you rarely work? It does for me. I've got to be far more patient, kind, caring, considerate, compassionate, and understanding of those grieving. Its a stretch for me but I know its needed. I know He wants more from me in these places. Its not comfortable but its got purpose. Sometimes purpose is all I've got to lean on for reasoning...as I do. Heavily.

Romans 12:17

Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone.

This is a place of integrity. Where your actions and your words not only match but are also upright. Can I tell you that not only do your actions need to be honest publicly but privately? Yea...that's vital. What you do or believe in private will be on display even if its just subtly. I try to practice privately what I profess publicly because I can't really do a mismatch. Like I said, I'm a 100% person. I need it to be all in. I'm not able to work out a mismatch because I can't really stand firmly on that. I do my own private study of the Word because I base my life on it. How can you base your life on something you haven't read? You can't...or at least you shouldn't. 

Romans 12:19

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God’s] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord.

Listen...I don't want or need God's wrath any where near me. Sure do not! So let me not do things that would bring that about. I need to be standing under the fountain of grace at all times. You know I remind myself of this verse when I am wronged though because I know....I know what God has for them is the behavior modifier they actually need. I'll let Him do that. Sure will.