That was yesterday's message from my mentor and company. They even have a nickname for me. They're so adorable. I actually talked to them about a lot of things but mostly preparation and how I got to this place. My relationship with the Father has been a type of everyday salvation for me. I've had to seek Him and know Him a lot longer than most because some people's best effort in my life wasn't very good. The Bible says He'll be a parent to those who lack and though I have two living parents, I've needed that truth so many times. He'll also send some folk to parent you. They talked about how much I'd grown since I met them and made sure I was clear about a couple of things that aren't okay. <--Their parenting moment! They really check on me. People are so important. I love knowing exactly who my people are. And I love them right back!
Chapter 40:4-5
Every valley shall be lifted and filled up, and every mountain and hill shall be made low; and the crooked and uneven shall be made straight and level, and the rough places a plain.
And the glory (majesty and splendor) of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.
I've watched God make what looked crooked straight. I've watching Him smooth out the rough places. Going back to what I was talking about in my intro, I remember learning "They're doing the best they can." That changed my life. When I came to realize that people, even those who are supposed to love you deeply, are doing the best they can it was eye opening. Its how I learned to have more people than just those who were related to me.
Can I offer that having more people can make those valleys flat? They did for me. God sent me some folk that filled in all those places in me. Its why I have such a sense of duty with so many of the people I love. I know exactly where I was when they gave a kind word or gesture. I remember having to ask my mentor if I was pretty because no adult had ever told me I was. She was floored. She actually left me voicemail that I kept for years that basically told me I was awesome because no one had ever done that for me. <---The crooked made straight. She told me I was awesome before I even conceived of it. ML is also one of those people in my life. When I couldn't trust myself, I could trust her. She told me I was awesome when I didn't believe it at all. She's most definitely a gift from above. There are places in me that she reaches that no one else can. I've been so grateful to have her in my life and my heart. She's taught me so much about love and fidelity. Can I offer that the people God has used in my life have helped me see my God more clearly? I know these people didn't walk into my life by happenstance. I've seen how God has used them to love on me and that drives me to worship Him as well. He saw and met my needs.
Chapter 40:8
The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.
Forever. That's a long time. The Word of the living, breathing God will never be done away with. That allows me to believe. I know I'm constantly seeking safety in relationships. The Word of God tells me that my relationship with the Father is the safest place I'll ever be. Can we talk for a minute about what it means that His Word is everlasting? It means salvation is available forever, that His character and nature will never change, His love endures, His mercy overwhelms, grace is unending, and He's still able.
Chapter 40:28-29
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not faint or grow weary; there is no searching of His understanding.
He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength [causing it to multiply and making it to abound].
He's always ready. I love my MacBook Pro. I deeply believe in MacBooks. I have them because they don't get viruses, they run fast, they are seamlessly integrated with everything else that Apple. Its great. But even the best computer ain't ready as soon as you open it. I gotta wait for the wifi to connect to be able to use it to its full capacity and it will go to sleep if I run the battery down with no regard for what I want to do. God's not like that. I can seek Him at the drop of a dime and He's right there. He's right there when I'm not even looking for Him. He's constant. He doesn't tire. Not only is that meaning that He doesn't get sleepy but He always doesn't ever find me annoying. And let me tell you? If I talked to you as much as I talk to Him, y'all would be like GURL! Do we really need all this conversation?!?!?! I talk to Him consistently throughout the day.
Have you ever tried to run a MacBook on no power. Its a no. When I've had no power whatsoever, to do right, to be right, to even seek Him appropriately, He's given me power. He's made a way for me to continue. He's provided everything I've needed. When all I could say was "Father, show me who I am" He was faithful in that. When I couldn't get the words out through my tears, He was present. He's been the only thing that got me through the day so many times I can't even count. God knows when you can't do it yourself. He's got you. He's got that.
Chapter 40:31
But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall changeand renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.
Yesterday, my love team was like "Girl....how are you making it?" I was like "He'll be a mother to the motherless and a husband to the widow." I've had to believe on that for a long time. You know sometimes I don't really know. When I think about how traumatic some of the things happening around me are, I wonder too. But can I offer that He's making the difficult peaceful? I mean honestly, it isn't easy. My heart isn't always strong. There are things that pull me by the throat and force me to my knees so quickly you'd think I'd fallen. But everyday, I get up and I look at the Word and it helps me so tremendously. I listen to the truth of who God is through music, I read it, I mediate on the Word, and I worship Him...sometimes sacrificially. I honestly only got slightly weary recently. My heart can only take so much silence from my love but can I offer that it changed my prayer life? When you know something's wrong and you can't fix it, it creates a desperation in prayer. Whatever she needs God, do that. Increase my ability to discern so that I can be whatever I need to be for her. If I'm not what she needs, get her that God. <---Desperate. There are deeper more surrendered places of prayer and seeking Him that He's able to pull from me. Lord, change me, show me, teach me.
So yea, with God it isn't easy. Its possible though. Its so possible.
Chapter 41:4
Who has prepared and done this, calling forth and guiding the destinies of the generations [of the nations] from the beginning? I, the Lord—the first [existing before history began] and with the last [an ever-present, unchanging God]—I am He.
He knew us before we knew ourselves. god had guided each step we've taken. Nothing surprises Him. He knew. He's always known. When I think about coming to terms with who I am, I think about how delighted I felt when I found out that that thing I'd been looking for was what it was. For so long, I'd been less than pleased about sexuality. I didn't get it. I didn't understand it. I thought it was something I'd suffer through from the rest of my life. That was until God opened me eyes. This is who I made you to be. I'm so glad you found yourself. <--Found myself and who I am in God? Yea... that's what I heard in the Spirit. Knowing that makes so much difference for me. It also helps to see verses like this. He knew me. He knew I'd never love a man, but He gave me a deep and pervasive desire to be married and to honor Him through that. That wasn't an accident. I definitely feel like He's guiding me to be married and also to use my future marriage as a ministry for those who don't realize how God can use homosexuality, His creation, for His edification. I may not have always known and my parents may be just coming to know, but He knew. He's always known and He's got purpose there. He's going to get the glory.
Chapter 41:10
Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror andbe dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightnessand justice.
In a storm, He's so present. Can I offer that He's also that way at all times? There are times when nothing's happening. I love just hanging with God. Sometimes its through meditation and sometimes its just listening to some worship music. There's this place of complete peace that almost feels like sleep but it isn't. I love going there after prayer at night. Its not sleep but its so close to it. Its the most relaxed I've ever been. The first time I felt that was in the car coming back from a theme park with my church friends in Nebraska. I was listening to the Bethel Album. Bethel does it to me. I usually listen to them while I pray. I like listening to music so loudly when I pray that I can't really hear what I'm saying. It procures a more honest prayer out of me. I may stumble over some words since I can't hear them, but I'm definitely more truthful about what I need and where I am then.
In times of great difficulty, I can reach for realities that stand firm forever. God is. I think its so important to remember that. God is able. God is love. God is merciful. God's grace persists. God can. God has. God will. When I think about how He's prepared me and walked with me, I know He's strengthened me for other things. They kind of scare me because some of the stuff I've been through definitely shook me to the core of who I am but I know Him better because of it. Lord, continue to be my ever present help and my hang out partner. I love you.
Chapter 42:1
Behold my [a]Servant, Whom I uphold, My elect in Whom My soul delights! I have put My Spirit upon Him; He will bring forth justice and right and reveal truth to the nations.
These are the Father's words about Jesus. This is how He describes His son. Can I offer that this is also how He describes us. This is what God thinks of you and me. When I accepted Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross for my sins, I became a child of God and gained the inheritance of such a person. I also got washed in the blood of the Lamb and God sees me through the filter of His son. You know the filters on the Gram? Yes there's a filter with God too. Its the Jesus filter and when He sees me through that His soul delights. Ummmm what? Yes I'm a delight to God. He calls me beloved. And He has put His spirit in me. The indwelling of the Spirit is God on the inside and shining through on the outside. I'm so blessed by the sacrifice Jesus made for me. Even when Jesus said can the cup pass He said not my will but yours. What? Talk about surrender. I'm still working on it but He's pushing me with that too. A faith walk? Yes....even the level of surrender I'm currently in requires so much more than I thought it would but He's right there. I think its so important to remind ourselves of what God thinks of us. I'm His beloved. Swoon
Chapter 42: 6-7
I the Lord have called You [the Messiah] for a righteous purpose and in righteousness; I will take You by the hand and will keep You; I will give You for a covenant to the people [Israel], for a light to the nations [Gentiles],
To open the eyes of the blind, to bring out prisoners from the dungeon, and those who sit in darkness from the prison.
Jesus was called to these things by God. His purpose was utter righteousness and to be a covenant. I don't often think about Jesus as a covenant but He quite literally tore the veil. I love that the Word doesn't say I will give you a covenant but I will give you FOR a covenant. Right there is the foretelling of the cross and that the work there will be complete. He is very much like the ring I wear on my hand. He is commitment. He is God's offering to us to solidify, edify, and be our bridge to our holy Father. Through Jesus, we have God and a right to relationship with Him. Jesus opens the eyes, not only those that see, but those that see in the Spirit. The sin and the guilt for it that use to hinder me in my relationship with God....when I got a more clear revelation of what the cross did for me, I got out of the bondage quick! And even when I slip back into guilt, I remember this verse: "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are found in Christ Jesus." That's true period. And not only is it true but its much bigger, deeper, broader, and more profound than we can believe. No condemnation. None. At all.
Chapter 42:9
Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.
Watch out with this one. This one will throw you. The Lord has given me whiplash with the "before they spring forth I will tell you of them" concept. When I tell you the promises He'll lay on your heart will blow your mind? Things I wasn't even looking for or thinking about He's said will be mine. Seek Him without agenda and see what He says. Mind. Blown. I love Him so much. He's so good to me.
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