Even when I'm unsure, He walks with me. Even when I feel all alone, He's there. Sometimes all God is asking you to do is get up, eat breakfast, do your devotion, go to work, and come home. Often times life isn't that complex. Everything doesn't have to be hard. God's faithful. He heard me the first time. Even though I get on my knees daily about some of the same things, I've found that my prayer life has evolved so far beyond who I am. I'm not proud as much as humbled by the spirit of God in me. Let's get to the Word...
Psalm 141:2
Let my prayer be set forth as incense before You, the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.
Oh if this could be true. I love the imagery of this as well as what it means. My prayers rise before a righteous and holy God each and every night. And often times I find myself praying things that aren't me. They aren't what I would want they prayers of surrender. The more deeply I know God, the more I can really rest in the fact that nothing He does will hurt me. Trusting Him isn't easy per say. Its most definitely a choice I make each and every day. Every day that I want to take the reins and do things my own way, I'm reminded of exactly who my God is by this daily devotion and my time spent with Him. That's why this time is so valuable to me. Also....love the idea of an evening sacrifice. Why? Because Phil would normally talk on the phone until she was dog tired. Now, I make a conscious effort not to do that so I can have a devotional with some substance. I need to read the Word and pray and you never know how long that might take. I love seeking Him in the evening. Its good for the soul. Its also good for my sleep. Let God take these things that concern me, and I'll get in these 500 TC sheets and get my life!
Psalm 141:3
Set a guard, O Lord, before my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.
Listen, you just can't say everything you want to say. I was writing about this yesterday I think. Sometimes the Lord has to hold my tongue because what I would said isn't wrong but it isn't good either. Sometimes my two cents aren't required. I've on many different occasions come to realize the privilege I'm steeped in. In the same situation as my friend, my Daddy would have swooped in under the cover of darkness and fixed all of it. That's a privilege. My dad is really an awesome adult person's parent. He wasn't too interested in us as children but now that we can talk for real, basically now that we are all Dr's, he's about this life. He's hilarious. And my mom is living. That's not something everyone has. My mom's mom had been in glory for 8 years at my current age. We forget the ways in which we are privileged and we speak into other people's situations and there's no way for them to do what we say. I've got to let other people work out what they are comfortable with doing. God can do a much better job of showing them exactly where they need to be. If I need to say something, I can often tell based on the words I'm saying that it was Him that wanted me to say that. This is why I've got to stay connected because you never know when the Lord is going to use you.
Psalm 141:4
Incline my heart not to submit or consent to any evil thing or to be occupied in deeds of wickedness with men who work iniquity; and let me not eat of their dainties.
Lord, let me not be swayed by the actions of others. Help me not to fall victim to the crowd. I'm often convicted of this because of the way I choose to walk out my life. And its not just evil things. Usually the things aren't exactly evil. They are usually out of context or just not expedient. They just aren't good for me. Sex is a beautiful thing. I believe its an act of worship. Sex outside of abiding commitment isn't something I can get down with and trust me that hasn't been easy. Walking out that kind of separation unto God, when the LGBT community is often forceful about literal expression of sexuality because it was suppressed and hidden away for so long, makes me the oddball at tonights LGBT event. There's definite judgement of my sexuality by some of my friends but the only opinion I'm concerned with is God's. Expediency is a new level of responsibility I'm just now exploring. Its the next level of faith for me. It says "this is okay for me and won't cause me to stumble in my faith or confuse me but if its not okay for you, person who has some connection to me an, then I will abstain for your sake." That's....like I said new. But its also appropriate for where I am and where I'm growing to in my relationship with God. Its not always about doing an act, but consenting to it happening around me that requires an extra dose of faith.
Psalm 142:2
I pour out my complaint before Him; I tell before Him my trouble
Listen....there are definitely things that trouble me. There is a myriad of things I want changed. There are lots of things that concern me. I cry often. But He hears me. Through my tears and my snotty nose, my God is faithful and ever present. He's good. The thing that I've watched Him do over the last month or so is give me peace about things that deeply troubled me. Even within the revelation of what I know about my life, I've been down right pissed off about certain things. I've been hurt by certain things but you know what "All things, not some things. I've got purpose there. Trust me." <---that second sentence...the one about having purpose in what's happening right now. That's new for me. I'm so grateful for the time I spend on my knees and listening to worship because that's gotten me to this new level of trusting Him. He's working for my good.
Psalm 142:5
I cried to You, O Lord; I said, You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living
Oh to have a refuge. I love knowing there's some place for me to go and find everything I need. You know how you can get anything you want a super Walmart. My God is better. He's the super Walmart of every good and perfect thing. He's the creator of all and the supplier of everything I've ever needed and the things I didn't know I needed. In this lifetime, I've never known anyone to be a greater help. The thing I do sometimes, is say out loud what I know about God in my prayers. Not for God, but for me. I have to tell myself who my God is. This is the God that has promised me the desires of my heart. This is who I'm worshiping.
Psalm 143:2
And enter not into judgment with Your servant, for in Your sight no man living is [in himself] righteous or justified
Jesus.
He's my access point. Without the work of the cross, without the sacrifice and the complete obedience of the Son to His Father to die for the sins of the world, this devotional would be useless. There'd be no access to God in this way. I'm only able to approach this throne because I do so drenched in the blood of the Savior. There is no other way. Nothing I could have ever done would have made me righteous, holy, or acceptable in the sight of my holy God. In this Lenten season, we must remember that its the cross that saves. Its the cross that creates relationship. Its the cross that did it and it is finished.
Psalm 143:6
I spread forth my hands to You; my soul thirsts after You like a thirsty land [for water].
This is me. This is me all day. Its like the more worship you do, the more you want to do. I'm so thankful that I've got a desire within me to seek His word and His face. I realize that isn't something everyone has. I realize people want to have this thing I've got. The indwelling of the spirit is a gift. The ability to believe despite what you see is a gift. Its the gift of faith. Its the most precious thing I've ever allowed into my heart. The thing is....you can have this too. This isn't a Phil thing. This is a Christian thing. This is a "whosoever, will let them come!" thing. I'm never going back because I'm thirsty for Him. I've sipped from the fountain of life and there is no other place to get quenched in this way. You can have this too. This is free to you.
Psalm 143:8
Cause me to hear Your loving-kindness in the morning, for on You do I lean and in You do I trust. Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my inner self to You.
I just start my day with gospel. You talk about setting up your day for greatness? Start it with Jesus. If He wakes me in the morning, I've got a reason to praise. The other thing that does for me is that it sets me up to walk in the way He wants me to throughout the day. Its like plugging in your iPhone. I plug right into the spirit of God and let him dictate my movements. I've giving up my own selfish desires and often ungodly thoughts to follow you. Lord, I want to do right. I endeavor to do right but I can't without you. Order my steps and my thoughts, Oh Great Jehovah. He also reminds me that He's greater than all the things that trouble me and He's got that. He's got all of it. I just need to walk out my faith.
Psalm 143:10
Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; let Your good Spirit lead me into a level country and into the land of uprightness.
Oh to do the will of God. To be in the center of what He's calling you to. Little did I know that it was God that prompted that text so many weeks ago to watch my littlest love. I didn't realize that was a prayer answered for baby's mom. I didn't know that I was going to be the way she got all this stuff done nor did I know that eventually I'd need to do so much more. This is your will. What I've found out about the will is that its often not what you expect and requires far more than you ever thought. Every time I've been in the center of His will, its cost me more and more and its brought me more joy and peace like a lazy river. The will is exactly where you want to be. I often pray to be in the will because when I'm there, God's got all of it. He's got all of it anyway but there's a peace found in the will. His spirit leads me. And when I tell you the country is level?!?!? My emotions were a roller coaster before I got not only certain revelations but also a deeper level of trust in my walk with Him. He quite literally gave me peace about a situation that had troubled me for months. He's also showing me that being upright isn't always about just avoiding sinful action but also avoid the appearance of anything that isn't expressly good.
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